


High Stakes, Higher Expectations

by Elderon



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe, Celestia Ludenberg Needs Therapy, Character Death, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Opening Up, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Underage Drinking, Useless Lesbians, Weird Fluff, aoi/sakura is background but rights, interacting like two true intellectuals, kirigiri has absolutely no social skills, lovestruck idiots, sad shit, somebody please tell kyoko that its ok to have feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elderon/pseuds/Elderon
Summary: Kyoko Kirigiri learns about feelings with a particular gambler whilst the Future Foundation saves the world.
Relationships: Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg
Comments: 40
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A detective fails to create a backup plan.

Kirigiri, among others, was shocked that their uprising had succeeded. With the class's hasty escape after the first trial, they had managed to begin reconstructing the world, beginning with providing shelter to the surviving population. Though the world was becoming more habitable, they had a long way to go before they could fix everything. The ultimate despair, Junko Enoshima, was still loose, along with her 13 other despair-diseased pupils. To fix that was their organization's current goal- capturing and curing the affected students, and killing the ultimate despair.

For now, they were using Hope's Peak Academy as a shelter and headquarters- the academy in lockdown was nearly impenetrable, and the despairs weren't coordinated enough to attack it at the same time, so they were safe. 

Kyoko lay spread across her bed. The window was covered in a thick slab of iron, letting no light in. All the light was provided from the ceiling fan that spun in lazy circles, making an odd clicking noise every time it completed a cycle. She missed the sunshine, missed being outdoors. But this was the only way she and her class could stay safe while the Future Foundation worked on finding a cure.

She could only lay on her bed for so long. Checking her alarm clock, she noted it was almost 9 pm. Most of her classmates were probably still awake. She might as well check, since she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to sleep that night. Her overactive brain hadn’t let her have a single good night of sleep since she escaped the killing game. The anticipation of what the future may hold issued her no inner peace. 

Perhaps she could stop by the lab and see if they had any sleep medications sometime.

In the meantime, she decided on visiting Naegi. He was having a rough time dealing with Sayaka’s sudden departure- she tried to understand, but found it difficult to feel compassion towards somebody she didn’t know. People had called her a monster because of it before, but she found it essential to disassociate with the unknown dearly departed. She could only imagine how much harder her job would be if she felt sympathy towards the bodies she had to investigate. It was morbid, sure, but sadness was never an emotion Kyoko liked to experience.

The halls of hope's peak were graying. Their usual pristine, sanitary state was but a fantasy of the past, as everybody was too involved in fixing the current situation at hand to be concerned by anything as trivial as cleaning. Even Ishimaru was too grief-stricken to lead the class, or assign cleaning schedules as he usually would. It was shocking how much this was affecting people, but Kyoko knew that her classmates would learn to move on. Besides, some of her other less... troubled peers had seemingly already gotten over it.

She was thinking of one girl in particular; Celestia. She was by far the most similar person to herself in the class, also adapting a very neutral-presenting facade, though she suspected that was a practiced habit. A poker face, if she thought about it, would make sense for an undefeated Super High School Level Gambler, anyways. However, Kyoko didn’t show emotions often because that was just how she was. She had never done it in the past, so being emotional now had to be a conscious effort. Even with that, she was far out of practice with expressiveness, so much so that she had been asked if she was in pain when she tried to smile at somebody. 

She would have been offended, but she had seen her own smile in the mirror- it was getting better, but was still reminiscent of the twisted smile of a serial murderer who’s in immense pain.

Kyoko knocked on the door before her, bearing Naegi’s battered nameplate. There was dust gathering on it. She swiped a gloved finger across it, noting how the metal shone a bit brighter without the dust. Thoughtlessly, she wiped it off on a fold of her skirt.  
She liked wearing the gloves. They didn’t leave fingerprints. As long as they stayed on, there was no evidence that she was ever there. It makes it easier to leave undesirable memories behind. 

A groggy looking Makoto answered the door. His eye bags were prominent, his hair tousled.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.” He smiled weakly.

“Oh trust me, there hasn’t been a whole lot of that going on recently anyways.” He stepped aside, allowing her to enter the room. The room looked just like hers. Quietly, she sat down on the edge of his sofa. The door shut behind him softly while he made his way to sit beside Kyoko.

Their relationship had always been interesting- Kyoko, learning what friendship was, versus Makoto just trying to be there for her, but in the end it worked. Naegi was one of the few people that she was able to relax around. She let her walls down around him more than she did with herself, which wasn't great, but she was working on it. 

“Naegi, have you slept at all since Leon’s execution?” He froze, but then shook his head sadly.

“It’s… all I can think about. Every time I close my eyes, I see- I see Sayaka’s bloodied corpse, Leon’s-” He bit his cheek as a tear rolled down his face. It was hurting him. She reached out undecidedly, hesitating before patting his shoulder lightly. He pulled in his knees and cried, choking up on sobs. She had no idea how hard it had hit him- seeing people you shared class with, cold and lifeless. Their seats were untouched and empty in the cafeteria, a morbid reminder of those of us who were less fortunate in this wicked killing game. Though, it could have been much worse- they only lost 2 of the 16 students. They almost lost 3, but thanks to Taka’s quick improvisation their first night, he prevented Junko- no, Mukuro- from a gruesome death by talking some sense into her.

“Hey, it’s ok.” She bit her cheek and tried to think of a different subject.

“Oh. Have you checked in on Mukuro yet?” With a sniffle, he shook his head. 

“Ok. We should check then. See if the verbal therapy has helped.” They left after a moment, walking side by side in silence down the long, empty hallways. Eventually they reached the room Mukuro was being contained in. A thick steel door greeted them, guarded by two imposing guards.  
“We’re here to check in on the state of Mukuro Ikusaba, please.” The guard on the right grimaced at the statement, but opened the door for then nonetheless. A giant plexiglass wall split the room in half, separating Mukuro from her and Naegi. She was tied down, still wearing a straight jacket. The researchers or Future Foundation had been investigating how she had been infected with despair, and found that it was starkly different from the other infected individuals. Throughout her entire life, her sister, Junko, had burned the despair into her, so much so that without Junko there for her to support and protect, she believed that she had no purpose in life, that she deserved death. She had attempted to strangle herself to death several times, so the facility put her in the straightjacket. This was her home until the facility found out how to cure her. They had been dabbling with verbal therapy, or so she had heard.

She strode over to the wall, sliding open the little door in the glass so she could speak to her.

"Mukuro?” The girl’s eyes shot open, and immediately she began violently screaming. Kyoko winced, stepping back.

“Oh… this isn’t good…” She sighed, fidgeting with the zipper on her coat. The silence was interrupted when a busy looking scientist burst out from a side room, aggressively scribbling on her notepad. Kyoko stopped her.

“Hey. Do you know how Mukuro’s condition is doing?” The woman scribbled down something else, then looked up to Kyoko.

“Oh, miss Kirigiri. Greetings. She hasn’t progressed much with the therapy, so we’re searching for alternative treatments. It seems as though the disease isn’t something we can physically cure, since the despair is integrated into all of her memories.” She tapped her chin with the pen thoughtfully. An idea came to Kyoko.

“Have you considered completely wiping her memory?” The woman froze.

“No… but you might be onto something. I'll look into possible treatments.” She turned on her heel, striding back into the lab. Makoto eyed her wearily.

“I’m considering this a personal victory.” She smiled gently at him, hoping it didn’t look too odd. He giggled and made a little ‘woo hoo’ sound. That was what she was taking as her personal victory. The visit made Makoto smile, and she knew just how much he needed that.

“Goodnight, Naegi.” With that, she left, making her way down the corridor back to her room. Before she reached her own door, however, she paused.

The door before her was more pristine than the others. It appears that somebody had been regularly cleaning it, not only dusting it but likely also polishing it, a burdensome task. The nameplate bore the name ‘CELESTIA LUDENBERG’ in block letters. Silently, she pressed her ear to the door. Dead quiet. The lights were off, as no light shone out from below the door.

_This isn’t a good idea._

It wouldn’t have been the first time she had disobeyed the voices in her head. She wasn’t sure why, but she wanted to be in there. Perhaps to look at Celestia while she sleeps, as if it would help her understand the gambler any better, or help her dismantle the wall of lies she had already constructed. She pressed down the handle. It was unlocked. _Curious._

Warily, she glanced around, making sure the halls were empty. It was still empty, quiet. She paused, giving herself a moment to reconsider.

She didn’t.

The door opened smoothly, and she slipped in as swiftly and discreetly as possible, closing the door behind her with a click.

It was then that she realized she was a fool. She couldn’t see anything, and after a few blind steps forward, she lost her sense of direction. _Too late to back out now_.

Extending her arms out to either side, she shuffled about until she reached a wall, guiding herself through the room alongside it. The room would supposedly have the same layout as hers, so she tried to visualize about where she would be, and where certain pieces of furniture were. If she had thought correctly, the couch should just be- yep. Her knee hit the edge of the appliance. From the couch, she took five tentative steps forward, reaching out and finding the carved wood shaping the end of her bed. Now that she really listened, she noticed how odd it was that she couldn’t hear any breathing. 

Slowly, she reached out and touched the bed sheets. They were bunched up, but nobody was under them. That meant…

She gasped suddenly, as she was tackled from behind, bent uncomfortably over the bed frame. A cold hand was wrapped around the back of her neck, the other binding her hands. Her captor’s breathing was heavy. The hand gripping her neck was trembling slightly as it moved from there to up her cheek. It was with that movement that she realized it was Celestia, since the nails tracing her jaw were long and well manicured. Only the gambler had nails like that.

She was feeling around her face, likely trying to figure out who she was based on her features. Then the hand dragged through her hair, pausing when it fell upon her trademark braid. She heard her cuss under her breath, before moving her grip back to the base of her neck, this time shoving her down harder than the last.

“Kyoko?” A little ‘mmm’ was the only response she could muster, as her face was still pressed into the bed. Celestia shifted against her, pressing her chest to Kirigiri’s back so that she could make sure the detective heard every word. 

“Why. Are. You. In. My. Room?” She seethed. Kyoko shuddered. She could smell notes of cinnamon and black tea on Celestia’s breath. Kirigiri was worried the proximity was doing something to her. The pressure on her hips stirred a hot feeling in her stomach, and it made it hard to think. 

With her face still shoved into the bed, she muttered another low sound, hoping Celes got the message. The hand on her neck loosened, and she turned her head.

“I came in an attempt to better understand you and uncover your lies.” Though she still couldn’t see Celeste, she could hear the smirk in her voice.

“Oh? Is that so? And how did you believe sneaking into my room without my consent was going to accomplish that, hm?” The fingers binding her wrists together against her back curled back in distaste, sharply prodding at her back.

“I suppose I didn’t think that far ahead.” 

“Oh, some detective you are.” She scoffed.

“I don’t suppose you would just answer my questions if I asked you to?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Eh. Doesn’t hurt to ask.” She tried to move her arms, but Celestia’s iron grip was tight as ever.

“Is there perhaps a way I could earn some answers?” She could hear Celeste’s breathing rate hitch. Her heartbeat sped up just a little as she pondered a response.

“Well… I suppose we could play a game… though I must warn you, I am undefeated, and no game comes without… stakes.” Her voice sounded airy and breathless as she spoke.

“What kind of game?” 

“Oh, how about poker?”

“I don’t know how to play poker.” 

“Well, I can teach you how. How about you stop by… tomorrow night, hm?”

“Fine. Release me, please?” She laughs at that for a moment.

“Oh, but it was so much fun, making sure you weren’t an assassin, trying to kill me.” Pausing, she moved the hand on the back of her neck to caress her cheek. Kyoko swallowed. Her throat was dry.

“Too bad. We should do this sometime else, you know.” One of her teeth grazed Kyoko’s ear, and she felt her face turn red. 

Then, all of a sudden, it was over. Celeste let go and stepped back, taking the warm embrace she had gotten used to with her. It took her too long to realize that she was then supposed to leave.

She felt as if she was in a trance, crossing the dark room, following the faint light that shone from under her door. As she cracked it open, Celeste called out.

“Goodnight, Kyoko Kirigiri. May our paths cross again.” The sound of her bed creaking beneath her was the last thing Kyoko heard before moving on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this fic is kinda confusing in terms of what has and hasn’t occurred, so here's what you need to know; they escape the killing game after sayaka and leon have died, mukuro didn’t act like a big dumb dumb because I said so, so she’s alive, and the despair diseased individuals excludes Chiaki, because she’s dead, as well as Hajime and Nagito. All members of the future foundation are assumed to be alive because of where everything was interrupted in the timeline.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko discusses over meals with various classmates.

The next morning, she was greeted by a relieving sight- all of her classmates, conversing and eating breakfast together in the cafeteria. It was the first time she had seen them all out together since before the deaths of their fellow classmates. 

Even better, they all seemed to be chatting happily. Aoi and Sakura stood oddly close together as they fried homemade donuts, while the rest of the class was seated around the various small tables around the room. Hifumi was pouring Celestia tea, which she stared at with disgust. Without so much as touching the saucer, she waved her hand and barked at Hifumi to start over from scratch. He apologized furiously and humbly rushed back into the kitchen with the tray. 

When Celes noticed her staring, she smiled unapologetically and gestured to the seat beside her. She quickly took her up on the offer, crossing the room and pulling out the seat across the table from her. It was then that she noticed all the cards splayed out on the table. 

“Solitaire.” She piped in, likely to supplement Kirigiri’s sad lack of game knowledge.

“Ah.” They sat in a comfortable silence as Celeste scanned the cards, moving the stacks of ordered cards and occasionally flipping a few at the bottom. Her face was concentrated, but she put out a relaxed facade. She could tell by the way she slightly squinted at the cards, the hardly noticeable movement of her eyebrows when she turned over a card she couldn’t use yet, how her hand hesitated as she looked over her current layout. With a few final movements, she seemingly finished the game, smiling with a hint of satisfaction as she shuffled the cards back together and slid them into their box. 

“Take a photo, It’ll last longer, hm?” The quip caught Kyoko off guard, said in passing as she slipped the deck into her little bag under the table.

“What?” She blinked.

“You heard me.” Her hands were now clasped. She tilted her head, donning a mischievous grin while resting her chin on said folded hands.

“I was merely observing your actions.” Their eyes met. Celestia’s gaze was acute, observing. She stared back, unwavering as her eyes narrowed.  
Finally, the gambler broke the stare, opting to fidget with her metal claw. _How… uncharacteristic of her._ In the past, Kyoko had observed her actions, but had never seen her act so… nervous. 

“Is that something you always do?”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Now Celestia looked like the one who was caught off guard. She stared at her shoe, kicking her leg around absentmindedly.

“...just a little bit.” Her cheeks flushed as she said that. Kyoko deducted that she didn’t generally tell people these kinds of things.

“Hm… you don’t like it when people try to understand you, do you?”

A fist rattled against the table. Celestia's fist. She trembled, glaring at her stockings. Everybody in the room momentarily paused their conversations to look over at what the commotion was about. Celestia seemed to wither under their stares. Her fist clenched as her classmates returned to their meals and chatter. 

“Could you please… stop that?” She was gritting her teeth, staring at her lap again. Kyoko wanted to respect Celestia’s boundaries- but then again, she felt that she was so close to uncovering something, a key to understanding this mysterious woman a little better. Abruptly, she stood up, scooting out her chair. She leaned forward, tilting Celestia’s face towards her own. 

“Why are you telling me these things?” Celestia was trembling as she looked into her eyes. For a moment, it was as if time was standing still. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Kirigiri thought she looked like a fish as she gaped, unable to summon any words. 

All too soon, the interaction was over. Hifumi waddled over to them, bearing a new tray of tea and various accompaniments. She sat back down, moving her hands to her lap as Hifumi set the tray down. 

“That will be all. Go away, pig.” Hifumi seemed oddly flattered by the comment as he hurried away. After a deep breath, Celes seemed to have regained her composure, completely disregarding everything that had just happened. It seemed so natural, it was almost as if it was a practiced habit of hers- burying her insecurities. She made sure to mentally note that as she took in the scene unfolding before her.

Kirigiri admired how the light glistened on her claws as she gently stirred in a cube of sugar, before raising the delicate china to her lips. A second cup rested on the tray, patterned the same as the other- with belladonna plant vines, also known as nightshade, gracefully winding around the teacup’s soft curves. The flowers were beautiful, delicate in their appearance, but deadly upon ingestion. She glanced from the cup back to Celestia, who was now contently stirring a bit of cream into her cup. Her red eyes flicked from the other cup to Kyoko’s eyes, as if she were saying ‘well, I’m not going to drink my tea from two separate cups, hm?’

At least, that was how Kirigiri imagined she would say it. Probably with a cynical stare, and a sly smile. Perhaps she would reach out to caress her cheek, in a teasing way that meant nothing to her, with an expression that read ‘I’m doing this because I find it funny when people believe I’m in love with them,’ or maybe just because she wanted to see her reaction, her cheeks lightly flushing with embarrassment, and possibly a hint of something else, something more emotional. Kirigiri chewed the inside of her cheek at the thought. To nobody would she ever admit that she would have enjoyed it, just a little bit, even if it didn’t mean anything.

She lifted the saucer, then took a sip of the dark liquid clouded with cream. It was an aromatic blend- mainly black tea, but she tasted faint notes of rose and jasmine. It was good, and at a perfect temperature. She took another sip, pausing to look back to Celeste. Her eyes darted suddenly to the floor to the right, but it was unmistakable, she had definitely been staring. Not that Kirigiri was one to talk about staring, though. At least she made no efforts to hide her intentions. 

Celestia, on the other hand, seemed to try to hide her true goals until it was ultimately impossible for her to lie any longer. Kyoko felt like unpacking Celeste was like trying to find the smallest doll in a Russian stacking doll, except each doll was superglued together, and also password locked. What was she hiding? What was it, deep down, that she was so afraid of people seeing?

Celestia finished her tea and set the dish back down on its tray. 

“Will you still be coming by tonight?” 

“Yes. What time works for you?” 

“8 pm would be… satisfactory.” Her expression remained unwavering, but Kyoko detected a slight change of… something in her demeanor. Another thing to explore later on. For then, she finished her own beverage.

“Farewell, Celestia.”

And with that, the encounter was over. She had decided to go visit Mukuro again, check-in on the state of her mind. 

That day, there was only one guard outside the door. He wordlessly opened the slab of metal for her. Mukuro was out of her straightjacket, now strapped down on an operating table in a pasty blue hospital gown, knocked out on some sort of medication, from the look of the machinery around her. The same scientist from the previous day stood in the corner, looking over some sort of chart. She read the nametag on her breast. Doctor Savannah Stein. 

“Hello, Doctor Stein. Have you made any progress with the memory wipe procedure?”  
“Oh. Condolences, Miss Kirigiri. We have actually just finished our first test. If everything went according to plan, all memories of her sister and her plans should be wiped from her memory. I’m here to observe her state as she comes to, make sure she doesn’t exhibit any negative side effects. You know how it is.” Kyoko nodded in agreement. The faintest outline of a smile ghosted her lips for a moment. She touched her face in shock. She… hadn’t done that on purpose. 

Luckily, she wasn’t given too long to think about that, as Mukuro had seemingly come to. Her eyes flew open, alert. Doctor Stein hurried into the lab, exiting into the separate room. She pressed a finger to Mukuro’s neck, checking her pulse, then tentatively said something to her. She couldn’t hear the exchange, but she deducted from the movements of their lips that it was going well. At least Mukuro wasn’t screaming this time.

She left the facility, absentmindedly smiling, unaware that she was even doing so.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. She spent the majority of it thinking about what she was doing that night, uncharacteristically nervous about something as forgettable as learning how to play poker. As she stared at herself in the mirror for the 15th time in the past hour, she ran a hand through her violet locks, fumbling with the end of the braid. Touching it reminded her of the previous night, when the hand wasn’t hers. Her face heated up as she ran her hand over the woven section. Maybe, if she was lucky, she would touch her again, in her trademark tantalizing manner. 

A knock on her door interrupted her thought process. She quickly answered it. Naegi stood before her. He looked a lot better- his eye bags were lighter than the other day, and it appeared that he had at least attempted to brush his hair a little.

“Hello, Naegi.”

“Hi Kyoko. I was wondering if you wanted to go grab some dinner together? I heard that Aoi and Sakura were making fried chicken! Though, I can’t promise that it’ll be good, as neither of them are exactly super highschool level chefs, if you know what I’m saying.” He wiggled his eyebrows a little. A small laugh that could probably be passed off as Kyoko clearing her throat escaped her lips. Naegi smiled at that.  
“Heyyyyy, emotion! I like it. So, can you come?” She looked to her clock. It was only 6 pm.

“I’m not sure… I have a previous commitment I can’t be late for.”  
“Oh, come on, it’ll be quick.” He didn’t allow her to protest, dragging her by the hand out into the hallway, all the way to the cafeteria. 

Once they crossed the threshold, the stench of hot oil flooded her nostrils. She really hoped it wasn’t bad oil, as the smell was just edging on gross. Aoi stood by the fryer in the corner, poking at the floating pieces of meat with an oil skimmer. Sakura was breeding other pieces, occasionally bumping into Aoi, whose face lit up like a stoplight every time their skin brushed together. She pondered how oblivious Sakura had to be to not notice Aoi’s obvious feelings for her.  
“Kyoko, here.” Naegi thrust a paper plate into her hands, bearing a few greasy pieces of breaded chicken. They sat down together on the end of a long table, where a few of their fellow classmates sat. Yasuhiro was chatting with Chihiro, Taka, and Mondo, each of them snacking on the fried meat. What a dynamic pair, they were. And by dynamic, she meant atrociously loud. They had no self-awareness, which was cute to a certain degree, which had been passed. Now it was just annoying.

She bit into the leg on her plate. Certainly, she’d had much better, but it wasn’t half bad for a first attempt. The meat was juicy, the breading crunchy, despite being slightly soggy. 

“So? What’s the verdict?” 

“It… isn’t bad.” He laughed at that.

“See, this is what happens when you try new things! It’s fun!” She smiled. And this time, it felt natural.

“Yes… thank you, Naegi.”  
She finished the plate and dumped the paper plateware and bones into the trash can. As she left, she thanked Aoi and Sakura for the good food. The swimmer grinned widely and bowed.  
“Your welcome, Kyoko! Goodnight.” With a nod, she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this chapter is a bit short but shhhhhhhhh  
> hey so its actually canon that Celestia has like, cripplingly low self-esteem and social anxiety, which inspired how i'm writing her character interactions. Hope y'all enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celestia plays poker, and Makoto teaches a certain detective about words.

When she came back to her room, it was 7:03 pm. She didn't want to be late- which was the excuse she used to stand outside Celeste's room for the following hour, knocking the second it turned 8. Behind the door, she heard a string of cuss words, the sound of something breaking, and finally the light clicking of heels against the hard wooden flooring. She opened the door.

“Ah. Kyoko. You’re… right on time.”   
“As to be expected. Is everything ok? I heard some odd noises.” Celeste grinned widely, kicking something aside with her boot. 

“Oh, no, everything’s fine. Come on in.”

Over the threshold, she saw the remnants of some tea setup shattered and kicked into the corner. In the main foyer, there was a small card table and two stools set up, with a briefcase containing a handsome amount of poker chips cracked open. There was a second table beside the first, with another tray of teacups. This set was decorated with marigolds.

“Do you have a thing for… florally decorated china?” Kyoko recalled the first set they had used that morning. Though, marigolds weren’t exactly as envenomed as nightshade.

“I suppose I do. Take a seat, please.” She pulled out her own seat, gracefully smoothing out her dress and crossing one leg over her other. Kyoko seated herself.

“Take these.” With a plastic tool resembling a scoop, she pushed Kyoko several stacks of poker chips across the table. She grabbed one of them from Kyoko’s stack, displaying it between her index and middle finger, before pressing it into the center of the board along with one of hers.    
“That’s the ante. The pot must start with a chip from each player before each round can begin.” As she went through the steps, Kyoko noticed how her demeanor had changed. Or perhaps, she was just better at decoding her, because of the time they had spent together. Her movements were a bit more jerky than normal, indicating that she was nervous or scared. Given the situation, it was probably nervousness, but over what? All she was doing was teaching Kyoko how to play poker.

As she wrapped up her explanation, Kyoko met her eyes. Halfway through her sentence, she faltered.

“I…” Clearing her throat, she glanced back to the floor, then reseated herself.   
“Ahem. Let’s begin.” 

“Wait. What are the stakes, here?” The gambler cocked her head as if she was attempting to analyze Kirigiri’s comment.

“I hadn’t thought of it. Well, we could go classic, with money… but that’d be a bit boring, no?”

“I suppose. Did you have anything else in mind?”

“I have a few variations in mind, but, ah, I don’t know if they would be suitable for this situation.” Celestia’s cheeks were dusted pink as she spoke.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well…” She pushed a few chips around below her fingers. “Have you ever heard of strip poker?”

“No, but it’s easy to infer what it means, of course.” 

“Are these stakes… ok with you?” How uncharacteristic of her. Asking if she was comfortable with it. She nodded, picking up and admiring a red and white chip, and the way it glistened in the light of her overhead lamp. 

“Are they ok for you, Celes?” She seemed to flinch a bit at the nickname. A nervous laugh accompanied her response.

“Aha… yes. Where did that peculiar nickname come from?”

“It was a mindless thing. It’s easier to say than Celestia. Now, let’s play.” Celes burnt the top card of the stack, then dealt the four cards into the center of the table, face down. Next, she dealt them both their two cards. Kyoko looked through her hand. An ace of spades and the two of clubs.

“Raise.” Celeste pushed three of her red chips into the board.

“Call.” She smoothly matched the movement, looking to her opponent’s face for any falter. She had to give it to her- Celestia had an excellent poker face.

She revealed the first three cards in the center of the table- ace of hearts, four of hearts, six of spades. Kyoko discarded the two and drew another card. A raised eyebrow was the only indicated response Celes gave to the action. She tried not to let her interest peek through, as the card was the ace of clubs. She had at least an aces double.

“Raise.” She pushed in three of her five black chips. Celes looked from her cards back to the table, then pushed in the required chips. Then, she flipped the fourth card- the river, she called it. Kyoko was pretty sure her cover was blown the second the card was drawn. It was the fourth ace. 

They revealed their cards. Celestia played a queen of hearts. Kyoko smiled smugly as she placed down her ace, scooping the chips back into her corner. 

“Beginners luck.” She mumbled, shuffling the cards back together and setting the stack down.   
“Now… What shall I remove…” She took a moment to debate, eventually choosing her tie. She pulled the garment off and set it aside carelessly.

After nine or so bouts, they were almost tied. Celestia had won five, Kyoko, four. Celestia was down to her undershirt and skirt, having since the first round lost her bonnet, windbreaker, shoes and stockings. Kyoko had lost her boots, socks, leather jacket, tie, and the bow in her hair. She was running out of options. As her next hand was dealt, she prayed for a good hand. No matter how much she told herself she would be comfortable being in her undergarments around her female classmates, Celeste didn’t fit into that category for her. She felt… nervous, as she looked at her hand. 

She almost sighed with relief. King and Jack of hearts. Not fantastic on their own, but if the flop had a queen, she would be golden.

She decided it was all or nothing. 

“All in.” Celes cocked her head, looking at her cards. She exhaled slowly.

“Very well.” She pushed in her own stack. 

The flop was revealed. King of diamonds, Jack of diamonds, Ace of diamonds. This wasn’t leaning in her favor, especially if she had any diamonds. Kyoko chewed her cheek, glancing over to Celeste. She discarded her hand and drew a new one, looking at the cards with disinterest. Kyoko matched her, drawing her new hand and praying for something good.  _ Ah… _ it was the six of diamonds and the four of hearts. If this next card was of the diamond suite, she’d have a flush. The odds weren’t too bad.   
She felt as if she watched Celeste flip the final card in slow motion. Her hand pressed the thin sheet onto its back, which she looked upon with the same blank stare she had given everything that round. It was the ten of diamonds. Pushing the six forward, she smiled.

“Flush.” Celeste matched her smile, revealing her card.  _ The… queen of diamonds… _

“ _ Royal _ flush.” She giggled, sweeping all the chips into her corner. Kirigiri stared, slack-mouthed, at the cards splayed out on the table. What a humiliating defeat.

“I win. Oh, how delightful.” With that, she rested her hands on her chin, looking at her expectantly. She had almost forgotten what this loss entailed. 

“Hey. You’re still wearing those gloves. If you take them off, you don’t have to take off your shirt.” She looked at her gloved hands. If she removed them instead… her mind wandered to what lay below the soft leather.

A moment later, she was unzipping her shirt. She tried to ignore how it made her feel, but the way Celes watched her, scanned her shoulders and the curves of her waist… she didn’t mind it. It almost made her feel- she couldn’t explain it. It felt kind of like a cross between being nervous and happy? Her stomach fluttered as she sat back down. 

Celeste passed her a teacup, brimming with piping hot tea. 

“How is this still hot?” Celestia took a deep sip, inhaling the scent before she responded.

“Heating pads. I actually crafted them myself, as a little… side project, if you will.” The blend was slightly different from the one they had that morning. A bit more spiced?   
“What’s in this?” Celestia waved her hand.

‘Oh, It’s the same tea from this morning, but I added some nutmeg as well. Because… well, you have been having trouble sleeping recently, no?” Kyoko’s teacup clinked back onto her saucer.

“Yes… is it that obvious?” 

“Yes.”  _ Damn. _ Celestia didn’t even hesitate in her response, nonchalantly sipping her tea.

“Well. Thank you, then.” Finishing the cup, she poured herself a bit more. “It is really good. Thank you.” She suspected that her comment had hit home. The gambler’s cheeks bloomed with color. A rosy pink complexion, delicate, beautiful. Her presence must have really been wearing off on Kyoko, as the look made her feel the urge to mirror the way Celeste had caressed her cheek, though she wouldn’t be able to match the warmth or feel of soft skin. 

“Anytime. You’re always welcome to stop by for tea, or perhaps another game, if you feel up to it.” Celes glanced over at her again, then stared back into her own pool of tea.

“Sure. It’s been a pleasure, but I believe it’s now time for me to leave. Thank you for your hospitality.” She stood and bowed, before slipping back into her own clothes and heading towards the door. The room felt so much different, now that she walked it while it was lit up. Celes had made a few personal modifications to the room. Several different pieces of furniture, a small bookshelf built into the wall with some fake plants set around the shelves- it made it feel a bit cozier. She’d have to ask where she got all of it at some point. 

Back in her room, she flipped through the pages of her favorite novel; Murder on the Orient Express. As a child, she had grown into her role as a detective by reading these mystery novels her father gifted to her. She built her personality out of their personalities, filling in the gaps she had failed to naturally fill out. This chapter was her favorite- the big reveal, the whole cast gathered as Hercule spelled it out for them, explaining the significance of every clue, every alibi, every misplaced speck of dust- it was always so enthralling.

She had already read this book countless times before. With a sigh, she set it aside and lay flat on her back. She was right back at square one. 

Gradually, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

~

The next day, she decided to visit Mukuro again. This time, however, the guard didn't open the door.

“She’s moved to the F wing, into an actual room. 113.” He rolled the toothpick he held clenched in his jaw between his fingers, then pointed down the hallway.    
“Take a right at the second intersection, her room should be just around the corner.” Kyoko thanked him, gracefully striding down the empty halls until she reached the room. She creaked the door open, only to see Mukuro sitting on the edge of her bed, chatting quietly with a nurse. Doctor Stein was nowhere to be seen. The woman acknowledged her presence after wrapping a bandage around Mukuro’s arm.

“Oh! Hello there! Can I help you?”

“I came to check in on Mukuro’s state. Can I come in?”   
“Sure!” She gleefully ushered her inside, closing the door behind her. Kyoko sat on the stool beside the bed, greeting Mukuro softly.

“Hello, Mukuro. Are you feeling alright?”

“...yes, though my head feels really fuzzy…” Kyoko sighed.

“Oh, that’s a relief. It was an… emergency surgery we had to perform on you, to prevent you from dying.”    
“Ah… well, thank you, then.” She didn’t seem to have much else to say. If Kyoko were to guess, she was probably still in shock. A pat on the shoulder from the nurse marked the end of her visit.

“Thank you for stopping by, miss Kirigiri.” She nodded and left the premises.

She later found herself in front of Naegi’s door. He answered her knocking after a moment. His hair was disheveled, and he was absentmindedly chewing on a cream cheese bagel.

“Oh, hey… Kyoko. What’s up.” She steeled her nerves, forcing herself to spout the thoughts that had been tumbling through her mind all day.   
“What does it feel like to be in love with somebody?” Naegi choked on his breakfast. 

“Excuse me, what?!” Kyoko bit her tongue.

“I asked, ‘What does it feel like to be in love with somebody,’ is there an issue with that?” He coughed the chunk of bagel up, then mused a hand through his messy hair.

“No… it’s just- coming from you… you know what? Forget I said anything. Come on in.” He sighed and stepped aside, allowing Kyoko to enter.

“So- who is it?”

“Who is who?” 

“The person you think you’re in love with.” She chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Is that relevant right now? I just need you to describe the feeling to me.”

“Jeez, ok, fine…” With the explanation that followed, there could be no mistake- the emotions that had wormed their way into her heart, her brain, over the past few months- Naegi confirmed what she had suspected from the beginning. The intrusive thoughts, the fluttering of her stomach, her desire to touch, to be touched- it was unmistakably, indefinitely, the textbook definition of that particular word.

Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know anything about poker so like please spare me if I got something wrong -  
> Two updates in three days? Wack


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mukuro takes more than a few heads off and Hagakure throws a party.

The next few weeks followed in relative uneventfulness as she began to fall into routines. She and Celeste had tea every morning together, and three or four times a week, she would stop by to play poker. Kyoko loved all of it. She had learned how to make that special cream tea that Celes loved, and on some days woke up early just to prepare it for them, occasionally also preparing little snacks such as creme sandwiches or scones. 

“What’s with that face?” Celes scrunched her nose, sipping the tea.    
“You got it... perfect.” Kyoko laughed lightly.    
“And that’s a bad thing?” Celestia’s eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape as she stared at Kyoko. She looked almost starstruck.

“No.”

Mukuro’s state had improved dramatically. Not only was she stable, and gaining in strength, she also seemed happy. The despair that clotted in her old memories like piles of leaves in a gutter had finally been swept away, allowing her to feel. Allowing her to be happy.

Kyoko related to her, in that sense. She had finally realized what this relationship, what Celestia, had been doing to her. The floodgates were filling up, and fissures were starting to form. She, herself, began learning to feel again, in every moment when she laughed or smiled without forcing it, in every almost primal urge to show affection. It was seeping into her, filling the reservoir.

She never realized how much she missed the feeling until she finally got it back. The night she did, Kyoko finally let the floodgates open. She must have lay there in her bed for hours, hysterically clutching at her pillow as she let out each gut-wrenching sob. The trauma- all of the walls she put up to avoid thinking, to avoid feeling- came crashing down.

As she drifted off to sleep, she noted how she had never felt so fulfilled yet so empty inside. There was something missing. Every night she found herself cradling a cold, empty space between her sheets. 

If she squinted, she could pretend that her pillow was a person, a beautiful person, with deep eyes that stared straight through her, piercing her soul. A person with dark hair and an intelligent manner of speech, with a lovely sense of fashion, who seemed to enjoy playing with her feelings just for fun-

She gripped her pillow a little tighter at the thought of  _ her _ , in all of her beauty, resting beside Kyoko. And to think that the root of all of this simply started with a vain attempt at uncovering her secrets. Better yet, she had failed to reveal a single one! Oh, what a deeply ironic hole she had dug for herself. This mysterious, intriguing woman had ensnared her, and Kyoko had no chance of escape. 

If she yelled into her pillow just a little bit, there wasn’t anybody around to prove it. 

~

As she and Celes stared each other down over their morning tea, (it wasn’t antagonistic, more so acting as a type of playful banter, except instead of taking they tried to interpret the other’s expressions) they were met with an unexpected intrusion. Hagakure planted his hand on the table, leaning over the small setup. He reeked of marijuana. 

“Ugh, could you please shower before you decide to bother us next time?” Celes turned her nose up in distaste.

“Oh- sorry dude, haha. I just came to tell you two about the party tonight. The rest of the class is coming. It’s gonna be held… uh, here, at 8. But, like, come whenever, if you want to…” Hagakure laughed awkwardly as he strolled back to his table, rubbing the back of his neck. Kyoko’s eyes followed him until he sat back down before she looked back to Celeste. For how she just talked to him, she seemed mildly intrigued about the offer. Kyoko raised her eyebrow, then glanced from Hagakure back to her. The gambler nodded earnestly, taking another long sip from her cup. This set was decorated with roses, Kyoko’s personal favorite.

“So… I’ll see you there?” 

“Yes. I don’t have any other plans, anyways, being stuck in this dull metal cage and all.”   
“Ok.”

Next came her daily Mukuro visit. It was a training day. Up on the rooftop, capped with a giant plexiglass dome, was where they did it. Apparently, it was the old greenhouse, but they had moved a lot of the plants down into different parts of the academy in order to make room for the combat deck. She was mad that nobody had told her about it earlier, being the only place in the entire school where they could hope to get just a taste of what it felt like to be outside. She had missed the sun. It’s warming rays sent shivers down her spine as she creaked open the rooftop door.    
There she was, Mukuro Ikusaba, landing blow upon effortless blow to the foam dummy before her. She had definitely earned the title of her talent. 

“Mukuro! Hi.” Kyoko barked from the sidelines of the mat. The combatant turned, wiping the beads of sweat from her forehead. 

“Oh! Hello, Kyoko.” For the warrior she was, Mukuro was awfully soft-spoken.    
“I see training has been going well.” Gesturing widely to the various decapitated dummies, she laughed.    
“Yeah. It’s a good day to not be a foam dummy, otherwise, I might just have to impulsively rip your head off.” Mukuro grinned at her own joke. 

Kyoko wasn’t used to Mukuro laughing or smiling a whole lot about anything. Seeing her healthy almost helped Kyoko stay happy, knowing how she had helped Mukuro overcome her old despair burdened life. She was almost a new person.

“Good thing I’m 100% flesh. Make sure to stay hydrated, Mukuro! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ok, bye!” She waved, then returned to professionally whopping that dummy’s ass. Kyoko was glad Mukuro liked her, as she quite liked not being on the receiving end of those punches.

When she arrived in the cafeteria at 8, it was abuzz with activity. Loud 90’s rock music blared out of giant speakers in the center of the room. The chairs and tables had been pushed aside to make room for a dancefloor, some also being used as food and drink stands. It wasn’t exactly a Hilton breakfast grade setup, but it was fine. At least most of the items were labeled, albeit in sticky notes, most of which had already fallen off of their containers. 

A bowl full of dark liquid with a little green note attached that read ‘iced tea :)’ greeted her as she approached the array. Without looking too far into the suspicious beverage, she poured some into one of the many red solo cups stacked around the table. After a moment of debate, she filled another, then set out to find Celestia.

She found her right where she had expected- the corner of the room, sitting down. Kyoko waved as she set the cups down- it appeared that Celestia had already drank a bit. A crushed solo cup lay on the floor beside her as she fussed around with some deck of cards, which she put away once she noticed the detective’s presence.

“Ah, hello Kyoko. Enjoying yourself?” Though it was far too early to tell, she nodded anyway. 

“Have you tried the iced tea?”

“Yes, it isn’t half bad.” As she passed the cup over and seated herself, she watched in awe as Celeste drained the vessel, knocking the drink back like it was nothing. She was acting a bit odd, but Kyoko didn’t question it. Celeste was a bit of a wild card kind of person anyways.

It wasn’t until around an hour later when she finally realized what had happened, why she was feeling weird. The tea, the fuzzy feeling in her head- it was alcohol. The tea was actually just a deceivingly well made long island iced tea. She wanted to beat herself up about it for not noticing sooner, but other things took priority first. She took off running in the direction of the bathrooms, eventually swinging into one and standing over the toilet in the first stall she spotted.

It wouldn’t have been the first time she made herself vomit before. She prodded at the back of her throat with her finger, waiting until her gag reflex finally activated. Shuddering, she bent down over the porcelain bowl as she expelled the liquid from her body. With every heave, a small tremor ran down her spine, until finally, graciously, it was over.

After hacking up the last remains of the alcohol in her system, she decided to rest there for a minute in order to sober up before heading back in. Slowly, painfully, her senses came back to her. Her vision stabled, and her chest no longer felt like it was going numb. 

“Well, where did you go?” Celes barked upon her return. Her voice was noticeably different- the french accent had almost entirely disappeared from her parlance. 

“I- it doesn’t matter. Are you ok? There’s a lot of alcohol in all of that.”

“Well… yeah. Of course I knew there was alcohol, that’s why I’m drinking it.” She slurred a few of her words together as she shakilly stood, trying to get to Kyoko. Two steps in and she went crashing sideways. Luckily, Kyoko was only a few feet away, and stepped in to catch her. 

“Alrighty, Celestia, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” Kyoko looped her arm around her shoulder and began hobbling across campus to bring her home. Thankfully, the gambler wasn’t too heavy, which made her job a little bit easier.

“Hahahaa… oh nooo, please dooooon’t...” It seemed like she had tried to say something in a dramatic tone but gave up halfway through.

“A-hmmm, are you gonna exploit me while I’m in this state..?” She whispered that into Kyoko’s ear, her breath hot and heady. 

“I wouldn’t mind~” Kyoko clenched her teeth. Never had Celeste acted like this around her, so raw and emotional, so teasingly vulgar. Thinking about her words stirred an odd feeling in her gut. She didn’t like it.

In order to just get her there as fast as possible without complications, she tried her best to just ignore everything she was saying. Of course, that would never work, as Kyoko could never force herself to cut Celestia out, but she humored herself as they hobbled down the hallway. Her cheeks were already bright red and she knew it.

“Kyokoooo~ I can’t walk anymore, my legs hurtt…” With no comment acknowledging her dramatic remark, she just scooped up her intoxicated friend in the bridal carry and kept moving. They weren’t far now.

“Haaa… hmmm… I suppose I can tell you a few of my secrets. Here’s one;” The woman wound her spindly arms around Kyoko’s neck so she could proudly declare whatever nonsense she was about to say right in her face.

“Ahhh… you’re very beautiful.” Kyoko tried to think of something, literally anything else that could distract her from the situation at hand. Obviously, there was not a single thing in existence, let alone in this hallway, that could make her think of anybody but the woman in her arms at that moment. It didn’t stop her from trying, albeit another vain waste of energy and brainpower.

Celes wasn’t helping to make any of that any easier. She moved one of the hands to the back of her head, forcing Kyoko to look at her. As Celestia tugged her forward, the detective abruptly turned away. 

“We’re here, Celestia.”

“Mmmm…”

Once inside, Celes kicked off her shoes and unclipped each of her drills from her hair, which she had recently revealed to be merely hair extensions, then looked back to Kyoko as she began carelessly undressing herself, tossing the assorted garments to the floor. As if she was attempting to dissociate herself from the situation, Kirigiri stood in the corner of the room, politely averting her eyes, waiting for permission to leave. She didn’t want to be improper, or impolite, or come off as even remotely interested at watching how the gambler stepped out of her dress. 

Celes crossed the room to join her, clad only in her pair of dark lacy underwear and a simple black bra.

“You want to know another secret? I’m in love with you.” 

Later on, Kyoko would blame it on nerves. She would blame it on literally anything but her internal panic for just standing there, unmoving, while Celes drunkenly kissed her. 

Kyoko’s brain had short-circuited. What was she supposed to do? Say ‘I love you’ back? But what if Celes didn’t actually love her, and it was just some drunken ramble? Would it be acceptable to say anything at all? Her mind bit viciously back and forth at itself indecisively.

“I-” Kyoko tried to say something, anything, but her vocals betrayed her.

“Kyoko…” Celestia pulled away, staring up at her with wide eyes. 

“I-it’s not appropriate. I can’t- you’re intoxicated-” Kyoko broke the eye contact, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“Spend the night. Stay with me. Please.” Her eyes were pleading, soft. 

When Celes experimentally slipped a hand under her shirt, she didn’t push her away. Kyoko felt the last remnants of her resolve crumble as Celestia pushed off the garment and snuggled her head up against her nearly bare chest.

Kirigiri’s brain raced at a thousand miles an hour as she recalled how she got here, cradling Celestia in nothing but her underwear and an oversized tee-shirt she had insisted that they both had to wear in order to stay ‘decent’. Part of her still thought it was a dream. She would pinch herself, but with both of her arms wound around Celestia’s waist, moving wasn’t an option. 

Her hair smelled nice, floral, soft. Gently, she nuzzled her face into the velvety mop. Every heartbeat, every little sigh that escaped her lips as she slept, Kyoko relished in it all. Snuggled beneath the soft sheets, between her slim arms and tangled within her legs, she had never felt so content.

For this once, the space beside her wasn't cold. It wasn’t empty. It fit her embrace perfectly.

She had never slept quite so soundly before. Maybe she wouldn’t need sleep medication after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celestia thinks about feelings while Kyoko goes on a mission.

Celestia felt oddly secure. Though her head felt fuzzy, she welcomed the foreign feeling. It wasn’t often that she slept through the night peacefully.

Something warm rested on her hips as she shifted, nuzzling her head into the pillow in front of her. A… something warm… on her… oh, she wasn’t wearing pants.

She shifted, tentatively reaching to her waist. An arm, warm and slender, was holding her close. When she realized what that meant, she nearly jumped out of her own skin. Nervously, she sat up, smoothing out her hair and readjusting the shirt she was wearing. The other was none other than Kyoko Kirigiri. She stirred, grumbling, whilst trying to pull Celes back to her. 

She was too preoccupied to worry about that at the moment. Far too many questions and no answers clouded her vision, which was concerning. How had Kyoko gotten here? Why were they both only in underwear and old shirts? Why couldn’t Celestia recall anything that had happened the previous night?  
She had been drinking a lot… which explained her splitting headache, but…

“Oh… oh god…” Celeste shook her hands around anxiously. They… they had done it the previous night, hadn’t they? And Kyoko was- well, she had a drink, but sobered up pretty fast, so she probably remembered all of it, too. Oh, this was bad. Really bad. She couldn’t afford to mess this up.

Clenching her teeth, she realized that it was likely that she already had.

Goodness, she wished she could be as blissfully at peace as Kyoko did, with her head snuggled up against her thigh. She felt every little breath ghost across her skin. Glancing at her alarm clock, she noted how late it was. Usually, she was up by 6. It was almost 10. Celeste attempted to stand up again, but Kyoko seemed really intent on not letting go.

“Mmmmm… stop it…” 

“Kyoko… what are you doing?”

“I… oh, I apologize…” Kyoko sat up, scooting a little bit away from her. She was visibly disappointed. The atmosphere shifted from comfortable to distinctly awkward in a matter of seconds. How were they to discuss this, both of them half-naked in the same bed, when one of them couldn’t even remember how it happened?

“Uh- so, ah…” Celestia stared at her knees, bending them to obscure her underwear. Kyoko, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care. She rested on her hip. Celestia tried to act like she wasn’t distracted by the fact that her shirt had slipped off her shoulder. She rubbed her eye before responding.

“So… do you remember anything from last night?” Biting her tongue, Celestia pondered her options. If she lied, Kyoko might inadvertently mention tidbits of what happened. But if she told the truth, she might be excused from whatever… unmentionable acts she might have done the previous night. 

She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, a loud knock interrupted her.

“Aah! One moment!” She clamored over to the door, grabbing the first article of clothing she found to cover her legs- Kyoko’s skirt- and pulling it on as she finally reached the panel. Creaking it open, she peeked outside.

“Hello?” A woman with dark hair greeted her. 

“Hello. Ah, I’m sorry if I… walked in on anything. Some classmates of yours told me that Kyoko might have been here overnight, and I was sent to fetch her for a meeting.” She saw the woman’s eyes flick down to the skirt she was wearing. Obviously, she recognized who it belonged to, as her eyes widened just a little bit.

“Yes, she’s here- but it’s not what it, ah, she was just-”  
“It’s fine. I don’t care about why she’s here. Please just send her out as soon as you can.” 

“Ah… ok.” And with that, Celes closed the door and let her breath out.

“Kyoko… some woman is requesting your presence at a meeting.” As she turned back to face her, she truly understood why she was so sought after, not only by the men in her class, but probably fans worldwide. She truly was gorgeous, even with her hair a mess, in an old comic book shirt three sizes too large for her.

“Ok. Can I have my clothes back, please?” 

“Aha… of course.” After some more embarrassing shenanigans she would rather not recall, Kyoko left, off on whatever mysterious mission she had to attend. Of course she was involved in something like that. She was so smart, analytical, beautiful… not that looks had anything to do with it, but still. She buried her face in her hands, turning pink with embarrassment. Of course she had to fall for somebody way out of her league. And of all of the awkward situations she could have woken up from with a hangover, it just had to be this one.

Celestia crashed back into her bed, laying down in the spot the detective had been resting in. The sheets were still warm and the pillow smelled faintly of her jasmine scented shampoo.

“I’m an idiot.”

* * *

Outside the door, she was expecting to be escorted by a discrete agent, perhaps one wearing a covert suit and dark aviators. Likely an utterly unremarkable person. She never admitted it to others, but people like that, so plain, unremarkable… she found she had a strong distaste towards their complete and utterly plain appearances. Those bodies she found… they always looked like that. Hardly ever had she come across a body she would consider remarkable.

Those people looked like walking corpses to her. She could almost smell the sharp tinge of blood, seeping into their uniforms as their skin goes cold, mixing with bleach and their other bodily fluids, swirling into a nauseating, noxious slurry. She hated being escorted by those guards.

Instead, she was pleasantly surprised.

“Heeeey, Kyoko.” A shit-faced freckled assassin greeted her instead.

“Mukuro? What are you doing here?” Slugging her shoulder playfully, she joined her in a brisk walk down the hallway.

“I’m no longer forced to stay under 24-hour supervision, so I’ve been relishing in my new found freedom. Also… this marks my first mission since recovery, so I’m pretty happy about that.” 

“Oh? A mission? I was under the impression that this was a meeting.” Mukuro laughed gently.

“Oh, I didn’t wanna scare your girlfriend into not letting you go or anything, since the connotations of ‘mission’ don’t exactly scream ‘super safe,’ though I wouldn’t exactly call this particular exhibition the definition of secure. You know, since Future Foundation is still figuring out how to organize all the branches and stuff.” Kyoko choked.

“Excuse me? My what?”

“Your… girlfriend? Isn’t she? Or are you two still working that out..?” Awkwardly, Mukuro rubbed her wrist and looked at her shoes. 

“No, I- ok, this is a conversation for a later date, but the short answer to that is no.” Honestly, Kyoko was convinced that she was good at hiding her thoughts from others, but she felt that right now Mukuro was seeing through all of it. Even if she didn’t understand exactly what she found, she could sense the bond that neither of them would acknowledge.

Finishing the walk in silence, they soon reached the rooftop on the other side of the school. It had previously been sealed off except for emergencies, since there was no dome of protection, but was open now for helicopter landings. She inhaled deeply through her nose, filling her lungs with the fresh air. This was her first time leaving Hope’s Peak… since she originally entered it. The thought was jarring.

A helicopter was on the landing pad, loudly chopping away as the engine idled. Inside were a few people she recognized.

“Kyosuke, Seiko… Togami. Greetings.” They each acknowledged her with a curt nod as she stepped into the vehicle and slid the heavy door shut. 

“So… what exactly are we doing today? As the other acting head of the 14th division, I thought I deserved to be informed of these drop-ins, Byakuya.” His stare was icy.

“Apologies.” He sounded completely unapologetic, but luckily she had worse concerns at the moment than dealing with Togami’s bitchy behavior. It wasn’t her responsibility to deal with him when he decided to act like a selfish toddler.

“Oh… This is a recovery mission. We received news of ultimate despair Akane being severely wounded and far from her group, so we’re going to subdue her and take her back to home base. Hopefully.” Seiko’s soft voice chimed in. She could hardly hear her from behind the mask.

“Is that what all of that’s for?” Suspended from several thick bulky chains was a collection of iron restraints.  
“Well… in case my amnesiacs aren’t strong enough… well, we don’t want her escaping. And she is notoriously strong.”  
“Fair.” 

The closer they got to Akane’s location, the more decimated the scenery became. It was truly unnerving how powerful despair was.

“We’re approaching the target’s last known location. Mukuro, prepare to deploy.” The pilot announced, his voice crackling with static. Mukuro saluted, pulling on a pack. A military-grade parachute. 

Kyoko watched, unfazed, as she dipped out of the moving vehicle and parachuted down, machine gun in hand. The land below them looked like farmland, but with an abnormal number of craters pummeled into the soft earth.

“Do you guys see her?”

“She’s below us. Over there, in the big crater.” Peering out the window, Kyoko did a double-take.

“Guys… I’m not seeing her…” Byakuya looked a bit panicked.

“O-of course you aren’t seeing her, commoner. Step aside.” He looked down at the crater himself, as if the fact that it was him looking would change the fact that Akane was gone. 

“Shit-” Suddenly, the helicopter was violently rocked to the side. Everybody went tumbling to the left side of the vehicle. Luckily, they had closed the door first, otherwise, they would all be hurtling towards the earth at terminal velocity without parachutes. Unfortunately, the helicopter was off-balance, and was set on a crash course nose-first into the earth. 

Her head was ringing, but vaguely she heard the sound of yelling and Mukuro’s machine gun as their pilot tried to keep them evenly suspended in the air. 

The helicopter rocked again. It launched her head straight into the metal door, rattling against her skull with a dull _thud_. Her vision blacked out as the copter threw her limp body over again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko wakes up twice, both under unfortunate circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for suicide  
> yeah so basically i cried writing this but shhhh

Kyoko Kirigiri was experienced in many things. 

Investigating murders. The stench of blood. What people’s organs looked like when they spilled out onto the floor. Dead, unmoving eyes, that were wide open as if still gaping at their killer in shock. The most effective ways to clean up bloody carpeting(Soak the carpet in bleach, then go over it with boiling water. The smell is terrible though, recommend using a few scented candles with it).

She had grown to find comfort in these procedures. They were familiar, albeit, disgusting and terrifying to others.

This was a feeling she wasn’t used to. Her entire body felt numb, like she couldn’t force herself to move even if she wanted to. Alone, in a dark, cavernous cavity inside her head. She… where was she? It was pitch black. The only thing she could hear aside from her own thoughts was a dull ringing.

No- not ringing. It gradually got louder. Somebody… yelling, perhaps? It was almost loud enough to make out.

“Ko…. ko…. Kiko… kiyoko…. KIYOKO!” Her eyes flew open. Red, apocalyptic skies greeted her, along with the pissed off gaze of Byakuya Togami. 

“Oogh!” She shot up, coughing, as a heel smashed painfully into her stomach. She pushed it off, glaring up at the blonde.

“What the fuck?” He merely scoffed.

“I woke you up, didn’t I? Now, get your ass up. We’re under attack.” He shot at a few things off in the distance with his megaphone gun. As her eyes focused, she realized their situation. They were almost completely surrounded by monokumas. Off in the distance, she heard the methodical click-click-click of Mukuro’s machine gun. Seiko was in her beast form around 20 feet away in a little crater, struggling to keep their target- Akane- in the dirt.

“Where’s Kyosuke?”

“Calling for backup. The helicopter is destroyed.” He pointed towards a smoking crater not far off from the little hill they were shooting off of. Sure enough, around 50 yards ahead, the flaming twisted wreckage that once was their helicopter lay destroyed in the dirt. The glass of the pilot’s window was shattered and stained with blood. It… appeared that their pilot hadn’t been as lucky as her. His mangled body was pierced by a few shards of jagged glass. Kyouske stood nearby, on the phone with somebody.

She grabbed the gun Byakuya had placed beside her and started shooting at the beasts.

“How delayed is this backup?” Seven monokumas went toppling with her forceful shots.

“Should be here in, ah, 10 minutes, now. You took quite a while to wake up. Seiko thought you had slipped into a coma. Ah, speak of the devil.” Seiko lumbered over towards them, with Akane thrown over her shoulder. 

“Drugged her. She should be out for about an hour.” Kyoko noticed the chains as she put her down, before running at the incoming monokumas. 

It was odd, the amount residing in some place as unremarkable as this abandoned country farmland. Especially considering how Akane being split from the group was an accident after she was wounded. Supposedly. But with that info, it made no sense that she seemed to be uninjured and far from exhausted when they arrived.

Putting all of the pieces together in her head only took a minute. There was a traitor in the facility, and had sent them into a death trap.

As if on cue, a thundering roar sounded out across the battlefield. She felt the ground beneath her shudder, and watched as a giant flat-screen TV emerged from the dirt.

“Kyahahaha! Oh, this is just perfect! A good chunk of all our little future foundation babies, all in one spot!” It was just as she had predicted. Junko Enoshima was here.

“RUN!” Byakuya took off, followed shortly by Seiko and herself. Just a moment later, the spot where they had been standing was fired at by a small missile. All around them, monokumas erupted from the ground, chasing them down. She tried not to let the impact knock her off of her feet as she ran, shooting at any stray monokumas that happened to get in her way. Junko continued her monologuing as they tried to escape. Kyoko tuned it out as she tried to figure out what her next move was going to be.   
Conveniently, she saw that their backup helicopter was hovering a ways away from the giant screen. Any closer and it would be within firing range of the missile launching monokumas perched near said tv. Her three companions were already sprinting towards it, but somebody was missing. Mukuro. She turned and saw the soldier dashing towards the edge of the farmland near the flat screen where an old parking garage lay, in the opposite direction of the helicopter. It was consumed by ivy. It was also probably where the transmission was shooting from, since international service no longer worked and future foundation controlled all of the new towers. The connection would have to be wired.

Mukuro must have noticed that too. She started scaling one of the ivy-covered walls on a mission to get to the top level.

It wasn’t a hard decision, choosing which way she would go.

In a few minutes, she was at the bottom of the parking garage. It was practically crumbling in some spots.    
“MUKURO! WAIT UP!” She yelled, before starting to scale the building itself. Luckily, the ivy was strong and grew on thick, so it didn’t take long for them to reach the rooftop.

And oh, how surprised Kyoko was when she saw Junko, alone, nonetheless, yapping endlessly into her monitor. When she finally noticed the two of them, she adorned her impatience with a dramatic sigh.

“Ughhh, took you pimped out circus freaks long enough to get here.” She kicked over the camera that was recording her, smashing it. The audio output from the mega speakers was horrendous, screeching like nails across a chalkboard until she stomped it to a mere pile of broken glass and metal.

Wickedly flashing her unreasonably long nails, she grinned. 

“Sooooooo?~ Aren’t you going to try to kill me, Mukuro? I’d like to see you try.” Kyoko glanced over at Mukuro, expecting a cool expression, probably reading as something akin to confusion with a hint of hilarity. Instead, her eyes were dull, almost glassy. She slung her gun back over her shoulder, before whipping out her hunting knife and running straight at the ultimate despair. Kyoko wasn’t even granted a moment to warn her against it.

It didn’t seem that Junko anticipated this either, because before she could say another word, she was flat on her back, spurting blood from three stab wounds in her abdomen. The knife was raised against her exposed neck, in preparation to slit her throat. 

Junko coughed meekly.

“Aha… how the tables have turned…” She raised a quivering hand and touched her abdomen, eyes flashing with fascination as it came back slick with blood. With the same hand, she gently traced her sister’s jaw, leaving a shiny pink trail in its wake.

“What an effect my dead body will have on you, sister.” Kyoko was frozen in place. She needed to be there to help if anything went south, but it almost felt like she had walked in on a special moment between the two of them, no matter how fucked up it was. Their dynamic was so hard to place, with Junko’s bipolar personality changes and Mukuro’s unreadable expressions. Mukuro’s mind had been wiped, but the deeply personal way she had carried out the task almost suggested that seeing Junko again had reawakened those memories. 

She was suddenly shaken from her thoughts- something was happening. Junko weakly ensnared Mukuro in her arms, pulling her closer- the knife! She was too close-   
“Mukuro! Back up!” She dashed towards them to help, but it was too late. Mukuro couldn’t hear her. 

The things that happened over the next few seconds felt like eternities to Kyoko. Slowly, she watched as Junko pulled Mukuro in, chastely kissing her lips and taking advantage of her surprise by twisting the knife in her hand. She shoved it back, cutting a lethal gash into Mukuro’s throat.

“You disgust me.” The whisper of a sentence was so quiet, she hardly heard it. But it was clear Mukuro had. As Junko’s head tilted back, unmoving but grinning with defeat, she heard Mukuro quietly laugh, watching her own blood pool at her knees.

“Ah… so this is true despair…” She stood up, wobbling over a bit, then vomited a concerning amount of blood over the edge.

“M-Mukuro! We need to get you back as soon as possible, that wound-” She rushed over to her, trying to help her stand, but was kept at her distance. She shakily pointed her knife at the detective.

“Haaa… not.. a step.. further..” She wobbled, probably feeling light-headed from all the blood she was losing. It was soaking into her shirt.

Kyoko was panicking. She had experience dealing with despair inflicted individuals before, but most of them were just extremely violent. Then she remembered what had happened when Mukuro had first been admitted to the investigation unit. Mukuro had been different. She inflicted violence upon herself. She had tried to kill herself countless times.

With a practiced hand. Kyoko knocked the knife out of her hand and pinned her down, preventing her from jumping off. Mukuro just laughed at it, laughed at Kyoko’s panicked expression like it was funny, seeing her friend’s life in danger like that. The detective had grown deeply fond of her throughout her recovery. Her dry sense of humor, how well she perceived Kyoko despite her hardly ever showing emotion.   
She had felt love towards her, seen her almost as a sister.

Mukuro coughed again, then dryly laughed once more.

“Goodbye.” An ear-shattering bang. 

Kyoko had made a mistake. A fatal mistake. Mukuro coughed, spewing blood on her face.

She hadn’t secured her right hand.

In it was a Glock, poised against her temple. The barrel was stained pink as her bodily fluids leaked out.

She watched, still too shocked to move, as Mukuro exhaled. Her final breath. The dead eyes of Mukuro Ikusaba stared up at her blankly. She still wore a wry grin, her face splattered with her own blood. Kyoko reached up, touching her own bloodied face. 

She… was dead. Her friend. Her  _ friend _ . Her friend whom she helped in recovery. Her friend, who was like a sister to her. Mukuro Ikusaba, dead in her arms. 

She couldn’t save her. 

Kyoko didn’t cry. She felt herself rebuilding those walls inside her chest, rebuilding her emotional dam. It felt heavy, like it would collapse. But she didn’t cry. Biting down hard on her tongue, she waited for the metallic taste of blood, closed her eyes, opened them back up. Silently, she dragged her index and middle finger down Mukuro’s face, closing her eyelids. With water from her flask, she wet Mukuro’s lips, then took her hunting knife and lay it across her chest. They wouldn’t be taking these bodies back home, but it was the most respect she could give to it there. With a bow towards her corpse, she inhaled deeply; exhaled. Before her was no longer Mukuro Ikusaba. It was just another unfortunate stranger. 

That was the last time she would be putting any hope into anybody but herself.

She made her way to the helicopter in a matter of minutes. Byakuya seemed pissed off.

“What took you so long? Where’s Mukuro?” She weakly pointed to the roof of the building.    
“Dead. Both of them.” She took another stumbling step, then must have passed out, because that was the last thing she remembered before waking up on a bed in the infirmary, with several I.V.’s and a heart monitor attached to her body.

“Oh, lovely, you’re awake. I was concerned, after I heard about what happened to Mukuro… are you alright?” It was Celestia. She sat beside her bed on a little stool, holding her… right hand clasped between her own. 

_ Right hand _ … The words stirred a bad feeling in her gut, but she couldn’t place why.

“Yes, I’m ok, my head just… hurts, a lot. Who’s Mukuro?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noooooo kyoko dont give urself ptsd ur so sexy ahahaha


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celestia and Kyoko confront some mental problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways this chapter goes out to @sayo_heyo bc apparently she read this fic and I panicked and wrote for like 4 hours bc of it,, anyways if you're reading this,, ty for being such an inspo to me jhgfdsa  
> CW- panic attack

Celestia’s entire body was burning. Not the good kind of burning, like burning with desire, but literally on fire. Like a witch in the old days, she was bound to a post and surrounded by rings of hay, forced to endure the flames that at first barely licked at her shoes, which eventually fully engulfed her body. It burned away everything fabricated. Her clothes, her skin- the persona Celestia Ludenberg, who had never truly existed. It burned until the only thing left was Taeko Yasuhiro, a shriveled husk of what she used to be, empty of any character. She had put everything into Celestia. And now, she was gone. 

The flames couldn’t have just put her out of it. They extinguished, and left her real self naked and exposed to everybody she had ever loved. They turned away in disgust, looming shadows who only cared for Celestia, having no association with this ‘Taeko’ woman, nothing more than a dirty, disgusting, poor little girl. 

She sobbed into her hands, but looked up when she noticed somebody hadn’t left. Kyoko. Her piercing eyes looked down on her menacingly. She turned away with a scoff, slowly dissolving into the darkness like everybody else.

“No- NO! COME BACK!” Her voice was even distorted in her own ears. She had lied to herself so well she had almost convinced herself it was the truth. But it was gone now. She could lie no more. 

But to accept this- it was impossible. How could she possibly live on as boring Taeko Yasuhuhiro? How could she, when everybody knew only Celestia? How could she, when Kyoko only cared about Ludenberg?   
She scraped her nails into her arm. The acrylics were gone, replaced with the stubby unpainted nails that she chewed down to the cuticle out of anxiety when she was younger.

She was a prisoner to her own mind and body. And she couldn’t escape without losing everything- loved ones, hopes, no matter how much she denied the existence of such things- she couldn’t bear to live without them.

She sat up in bed, hacking. Somebody had poured a cup of water on her face. Gasping, she reached for her shoulder, relaxing a little bit when she felt her white lace nightgown on her shoulders. Her nails were still intact, too.

Now, it was time to chew out her intruder. Unfortunately, she didn’t recognize the woman. It would be improper to yell.

“Miss Ludenberg. Byakuya Togami of the fourteenth branch has summoned you to the infirmary. He also requested that I inform you of the recent unfortunate passing of ultimate soldier Mukuro Ikusaba.” She bowed and left, providing no explanation on how she even got in, let alone why she decided to wake her up by splashing her face with water instead of just yelling at her, or gently rocking her shoulder.

Mukuro… that was Kyoko’s close friend. And she was… dead.

Celestia couldn’t make herself feel remorse for a stranger, but was still fairly concerned about how Kyoko was doing. Or, for that matter, where she was. She hadn’t stopped by for evening poker like usual.

...whatever. It wasn’t relevant. If Byakuya was requesting her presence, then it should be important. And if it wasn’t, she would be justified in doing a little bit of yelling, after being woken up at 4 am on a Saturday morning and all.

“Byakuya.” Celestia formally greeted the lanky individual before her. He wore his plain ironed tux, as always. Even off the job, he couldn’t help but show off his position to everybody, every hour of the day. She wouldn’t be surprised if he had been sleeping in it too.

“Celestia.” He gestured for the door and stepped aside. The infirmary. What business would she have in there? 

“Pardon me, but why was I invited here?” Her french accent felt odd in her mouth, but she tried to ignore it.

“You are a dear friend of Kyoko’s, no?” She gasped. Though she couldn’t conjure a single reason why she would be injured in her head, the mere thought was scary enough for her to rush past Byakuya into the ward, scanning for the violet hair of her detective. 

The room was empty, save the two of them. Kyoko was hooked into several machines, including an I.V. and a heartbeat monitor. Thankfully, her heart was beating like normal. She sighed with relief, then settled onto a little stool beside the bed.

She was probably sleeping. But somehow, Celestia felt that being right there to see everything would help Kyoko recover from… whatever it is that happened to her. She didn’t have any visible wounds, though there were traces of blood on her face.

Putting all of that together, it was likely that she had just been knocked unconscious a few times. Which, out of the worst things that could have happened, wasn’t bad.

A bigger question was clouding her mind, though. Hadn’t she left for a meeting? What on earth could have caused such damage to her inside the school?

To calm her nerves, she clasped Kyoko’s hand between her own, rubbing circles over her pale skin. The hand was clenched into a fist, but she was able to massage it open. A little curved piece of metal fell out, clinking to the floor. It looked to be… a military dog tag. She held up the chain. It was faded, but she could make out the name Ikusaba, Mukuro, along with a jumble of numbers. This… Kyoko’s dead friend. Somebody needed to fill her in on exactly what had happened the day before. 

She slipped the tag into her pocket, before pouring her attention into fondly caressing the back of the detective’s hand again.

Hospitals had always disoriented Celestia, but here, with Kyoko, things felt alright. The buzz of the fluorescent lights and the beeping of the heart rate monitor played like background noise in her head as she waited for the detective to awake.

After what felt like an eternity, Kyoko groaned, shifting in her bed. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. They must have put her on some pain medication.

“Oh, lovely, you’re awake. I was concerned after I heard about what happened to Mukuro… are you alright?” Kyoko moved to look at her. A weak smile broke her lips.

“Yes, I’m ok, my head just… hurts, a lot. Who’s Mukuro?” Celestia racked her mind for any possible explanation as to why Kyoko wouldn’t be able to remember her friend’s name.

“Oh… I think you might have a concussion… but that doesn’t matter right now. Do you need anything, food, water..?”   
“Kyoko! Oh, thank goodness you’re ok!” Of  _ course  _ he would show up now. Makoto Naegi, in the flesh, as loud and obnoxious as always. He hovered anxiously by her side, standing across from Celestia.

“She’s fine. Yelling at her isn’t helping though. Make yourself useful and fetch her some water.” He winced at the biting comment, but nodded and sprinted off towards the kitchen. What a lame ward… no nurses to check up on her or anything. 

Maybe Kyoko was in a state where she didn’t really need anybody to check in on her, but it was still insensitive. Complications could have occurred…

She was just happy Kyoko was safe.

“Here! I grabbed some water, milk bread, and red bean mochi. I figured, ah, soft foods were better…” Naegi had returned with a little platter with an assortment of colorful foods. She took the glass of water.

“Kyoko, dear, raise your head up a little…” As she obliged, Celestia guided her hand behind the detective’s head, holding her steady as she brought the glass of water to her lips. In an attempt to hide the growing flush on her face, she avoided staring at her. Nevertheless, Celestia felt her heart flutter as her friend leaned into her touch.

Kyoko took a tentative sip, then downed the entire glass. How long had she gone without water?

Hundreds of questions swarmed her head. Everything she had been told didn’t add up. But as much as she wanted answers, talking to Kyoko wouldn’t really get her anywhere at the moment. She needed rest.

Pondering her options, she grabbed a roll and tore off a bite-sized piece. 

“Are you hungry?” Kyoko nodded slightly. From what she’d observed, Kyoko’s entire body had shut down somewhat, likely from whatever medication they gave her. It just so happened that her head woke up first. The rest of her body was in various states of immobility.

She fed her the piece, intently watching to make sure she didn’t choke. Her intense focus on helping Kyoko almost made her forget Naegi was still in the room. She looked up and flinched, noticing his perplexed gaze.

“Gah..! Please refrain from scaring me again… Makoto.” She bit her tongue. He hadn’t technically done anything that would scare a normal person. She wasn’t exactly sure what that was, actually… it was very uncharacteristic of… Celestia… 

Celestia…

She looked down at her hands, trembling. There they were, her stubby nails. Her pinky was scabbed over from the nail being bitten back too far. 

“Aah… I’m afraid there’s been some mistake…” Her voice quivered. Who was she even trying to reason with? To assume this vision of her true self was conjured by an external being was utterly ridiculous. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge it. Taeko was gone. She had burned her, left no trace of what used to be. Her name was Celestia Ludenberg!

With anguish, she realized her accent was gone again. She tried to reclaim it, to no avail. It felt like her mouth was full of rocks. So hard to talk, too difficult to breathe.

Obviously, no poor Japanese student would be able to speak in a french accent. That’s just what she was, no? A little heathen? Surely, that title was very befitting of the glorified mess of a person she was. She was even wearing her old school uniform, in tatters from when she was jumped after school.

A pair of arms strongly gripped her shoulders, startling her. She looked up intently, tear pricking at her eyes.   
“Kyoko?” But nobody was there. It was just more darkness, and the pressure of a weak grip on her upper body. The cold chills of abandonment swept across her skin like a cutting winter breeze, leaving goosebumps and a feeling of dread in her stomach in their wake.

Choking back a sob, she curled herself into a ball- one of the few positions that gave her comfort in a time like this. She pressed her head deep into her knees and rocked herself a little. 

Gradually, her heartbeat slowed down. When the feeling finally went away, she cracked an eye open. Kyoko… she was there, beside her, illuminated beautifully in the cheap factory lighting. 

“Oh, thank goodness you’re ok. I was getting worried when you started yelling and jerking around…” Naegi chimed in. 

She was still in the infirmary. Though Celestia wasn’t exactly sure what had happened, she was ok now. 

A small crowd had gathered around the foot of her bed. Around six pairs of prying eyes greeted her when she sat up. It was mostly security, but Byakuya and some girl wearing a mask were among them. He just shook his head sadly, then turned to the masked woman and quietly discussed something. The woman nodded, then began moving her hospital bed with her to another room.   
“Ah- Praytell, where are you taking me?”   
“To an exam room. Byakuya and Naegi want me to figure out what caused that, and help fix it if I can. My name is Seiko, in case you were wondering.” Soon, they had entered a little exam room. It smelled like bleach and heavy AC despite the fact that the area was fairly warm. From within the cabinet on the wall, she pulled out several boxes of test kits and syringes. Internally, Celestia groaned.

* * *

Kyoko winced, flexing her fingers. Feeling was beginning to spread back throughout her body, which was a positive development, but it ultimately felt like getting stabbed a thousand times over on every inch of her skin. 

Thankfully though, that meant everything was no longer feeling like a tripped out fever dream. Her conversation with Celeste earlier could have very well been fabricated by her own mind in a desperate attempt to seek companionship in an empty room. 

She was gone after she woke up from her nap, which somewhat confirmed her suspicions. It was uncharacteristic of Celestia to be so kind, anyways… she couldn’t recall the gambler ever acting so truly compassionate, even if Kyoko really wished she was.

There was a glass of water on a stool beside the bed. She drank it, and tried to remember exactly what led up to her hospitalization.

She remembered leaving Celestia’s room with some agent and going on a mission. A mission… to capture an ultimate despair. Which they accomplished..? Probably. 

She felt like she was missing something big. Something terrible had happened. She couldn’t recall what it was, what it had felt like- but she was sure it had happened.

Somebody- yes, somebody killed Junko. But she couldn’t remember who it was. She made a mental note to run over her facts with Byakuya later and see who that was. But in any case, it sounded like the mission was a fantastic success. Eliminating the mastermind and capturing one of her pupils in one go sounded very successful indeed. After that, Kyoko must have fallen and hit her head or something, had a minor concussion, maybe, and was rushed to the infirmary. It made sense. 

She drifted back to sleep, working the remainder of the drugs out of her system.

* * *

“I should let you know that my patience with this endeavor wears thin quickly. How many tests are you going to have to do to determine what’s wrong with me?” Seiko shook her head, muttering to herself as she triple checked the results to her tests. 

“I’m not sure… At this point, I think I need to do an MRI to see if you’re seizure or heart disease-prone. You haven’t tested positive for any of these infections.”

One room over, she was slid into something akin to a giant fluorescent lightbulb.

The inside of the scanner was uncomfortably bright. Even though she was given a little eye mask to wear, the light still partially shone through. Thankfully, the test was over in 20 minutes. 

“So. What’s wrong with me?” Seiko tapped her pen to her clipboard nervously. 

“Well… it’s certainly not what I thought. You have brain trauma. And treatment is… therapy.” Celestia scoffed.

“Well, that’s certainly not happening.”   
“I hardly believe you get a say in the matter.” Without her noticing, Byakuya had entered the room.    
“As a soon to be member of Future Foundation, we simply cannot risk having somebody prone to having frequent panic attacks on the field. It’s too risky. You’ll be starting Seiko’s recommended treatment tomorrow.” He nodded curtly and left. Celestia had never wanted to choke somebody out so badly, and she usually has to endure listening to Hifumi speak to her every morning.

“I have good news though. If you don’t want to do in-person therapy, individual or group meditation is an option, as long as you come in for EMDR therapy once a month.” Her mouth felt dry. The absolute last thing she wanted was to confront her past.

But joining Future Foundation was the thing giving her purpose. Without it…

She took the prescription instructions from Seiko begrudgingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is kinda boring,, i needed to set all of this up for the next chapter :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiko figures out how to be a good therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoink,, sorry this took so long, I was feeling kinda uninspired & i'm writing for a few different contests to fund my upcoming Celestia cosplay!! ill let y'all know when I start but if you wanna support me my @ on tik tok n instagram is @ibuki_core

“The name Mukuro really doesn’t ring any bells?”   
“No, I’m sorry. It sounds vaguely familiar but I can’t pin a face to it.” Seiko sighed, scribbling down a few notes on her clipboard.    
“Ok. Look at this.” With the press of a button, she turned on the little display. It was playing one of Ryota’s newest pieces, made particularly for the people inside of Hope's Peak suffering from PTSD at the moment. He informed her that it was actually a beta version of what he would be using to hopefully heal the ultimate despairs without wiping their minds, with a few minor adjustments, of course. She didn’t know exactly what it was, since Ryota had warned her of watching it while dealing with patients, but the soundtrack gave her some clues. It was an airy sound, with bells and the occasional chord of the cello. Though it was relaxing, it made her feel a little bit paranoid.

The recording ended. She shut off the device, turning to face Kyoko. Her eyes were wide, wet. A tear streamed down her face.

“How do you feel, Kyoko?” The detective choked back a sob, turning to face away from Seiko.    
“I- do you want me to leave, for a moment?” Nodding furiously, she began delving into a full-fledged breakdown. 

“Ok. There’s a weighted blanket under the cabinet over there.”

Seiko pointed towards the st

erile mounted cabinet then left promptly, pressing the thick door to the examination room closed and seating herself at a table in the staff room. It’s not that she didn’t care about the emotions of others- she just had trouble being comforting in those situations. Besides, Kyoko had asked her to leave. She mentally agreed to check in on her in… eh, about 10 minutes, along with some water and ibuprofen. She might have only been a mere pharmacist, but she knew how much those dehydration-induced migraines hurt.

Across the room, Byakuya made himself a cup of tea, then came to sit in the seat across from her.

“Don’t you have something better to do, Byakuya?” 

“Without Kyoko? Hardly. As dual heads of the fourteenth branch, I would have to sign an ungodly amount of paperwork to even think about conducting any mission of value without her consent. I had to do that on our last mission, only for her to tag along at the last minute… tch.” Seiko rolled her eyes, pushing the fake plastic succulent in the center of the table around. The paint on the edge of the leaves was beginning to flake off.

“So you’re worried about her.” 

“I… suppose you could say that.” There it was. He averted his eyes, his cheeks flushing a pale pink.

“Ohhhh- I think I see what’s going on here. You like her, don’t you?”

“Even if I did, such matters don’t concern you.” With a scoff, he sipped on his coffee.

“I think it does, actually. Because I have some advice- well, actually, no. There are several reasons why that’s a terrible idea.” He put his mug back down on the table with far too much force. The cheap plastic of the table rattled with the impact. 

“I believe you’ll just spew nonsense, but oh, do tell. It amuses me to watch commoners project their rubbish ideas.” 

“Well, first of all, you’re aware of the state she’s in, right? As her makeshift therapist at the moment, I legally am not allowed to let you tell her that. It’s too mentally strenuous.”

“Tch. Like this whole impromptu therapist thing is at all legal right now.”

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that.” He just scoffed again, turning up his nose at her like she was some dirty beggar asking for drug money.

...

On second thought, he probably made that face at anybody that wasn’t of his preferred ‘status’ and such. She decided to ignore the gesture. If her analysis of his treatment of others had shown her anything, it was that his god complex made it nearly impossible to treat others with ample respect, and Seiko knew better than to defy one’s mental state in order to get what she wanted.

“Anyways… Secondly, haven’t you heard the rumors? She’s been sleeping with that Ludenberg girl.” At that moment, Seiko was concerned she would have to perform the Heimlich maneuver again. He choked on his coffee for a solid minute, apparently so shocked by her comment that he forgot how to breathe normally. 

“Pardon me, what did you just say?” She leaned back in her chair with a laugh.   
“You didn’t hear it from me. Besides, didn’t you know where she came from the day of that mission? Celestia’s bedroom. And Ludenberg was in different clothes at first, from what the hall video cameras say. _ Kyoko’s _ clothes.” Seiko wiggled an eyebrow suggestively, her new favorite way to show off her ‘funny and cool’ gestures when messing with people.

The glare Byakuya was shooting at her from across the table let her know exactly how much he wanted to smack her. Hopefully for intentionally being an asshole to him, as him showing anger towards her for the presumed unavailability of his favorite person in Future Foundation was neither her fault nor a good sign, as violence because of something like that could definitely precede abuse in a relationship.

She squinted her eyes, shaking the thought from her head. Thinking about all of the therapy lessons she had crammed in over the past month brought back unpleasant memories that she preferred not to confront. It wasn’t her own trauma- she had dealt with that long before- but the mere thought that people suffered uncontrollably every day made her heartache, as there was nothing she could do to help.

Thankfully, though, she was actively healing two people, and that soothed her nerves just a little bit. Glancing over to the clock and noting that she was going to have to check in on Kyoko in a few minutes, she turned her focus back to Byakuya, who was still visibly smoldering with rage, gripping the handle of his ‘world’s best boss’ mug so hard that she feared it might shatter.

She briefly wondered what terrified employee had been pressured into purchasing it for him.

A part of her wanted to say more, just to see how far she could push him, but getting fired wasn’t making her list of ‘top ten things she wanted to do in her freshman year of college’. Surviving was her biggest objective at this point. She sighed with defeat, then stood and walked over to the sink to fill up a cup of water and grab some ibuprofen for Kyoko. When she re-entered the dim room, it seemed that Kyoko had more or less put herself back together. Mascara streamed down her cheeks, but the only other evidence that she had been crying was a light sniffle every few seconds. She had bundled herself tightly into the weighted blanket.

“Hey… are you ok? Can I come closer?” Seiko spoke as softly as possible, weary of the possibility that she could be sent back into a panic attack if she did something to startle her or make her uncomfortable. Tentatively, the detective nodded. Seiko slowly sat down next to her and passed her the cup of water, along with the plastic dish with ibuprofen. She took it thankfully and downed it, swallowing the pills as an afterthought.

“Can you talk?”   
“...yeah. Yeah. I can.” 

“Ok.” Seiko paused, analyzing the way Kyoko lay crumpled into a heap of blanket and person against the wall. It took a double-take to realize why she was having such a hard time figuring out what was going through her mind. She looked terrified, but also sad. Incredibly sad, like somebody who had been forced to helplessly watch their world burn to the ground. Her eyes kept nervously flicking around the room, as if she were afraid of a ghost or assassin suddenly popping out and attacking her.

She had never seen Kyoko in that state. So raw, so emotionally broken. It was terrifying.

“So… I’m assuming you remember what happened now..?” Kyoko nodded sadly, squinting up her eyes while tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, trying to blink the feeling away.

“Alright. Fill out this form. Take your time, but make sure to answer each question as honestly as possible. I’ll be going over your answers to create the best possible course for you.” Seiko slid her clipboard over to Kyoko’s feat, then pulled a little green bottle from her satchel and placed it beside the form.

“What’s that..?”    
“It’s sleep medication. I know you haven’t been sleeping well, and confronting something as heavy as death can result in many sleepless nights.” Her leather shoes tapped gently against the gray tiling as she stood, offering a hand to Kyoko, who took it, with the assorted materials tucked against her chest. 

“I’ll give you an escort back to your room. How does that sound?” The detective shook her head, smiling sadly.

“Actually, I think I have somebody to visit first. But I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you, Seiko.” A chill ran down her spine, as in that moment, she realized that people hardly ever addressed her directly like that, in a voice of fondness and appreciation.

It wasn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah seiko isn't really in character but i hc that without ruruka in her life she gains the confidence to be an upstanding person so shush


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celestia and Kyoko both spectacularly fail at accomplishing their goals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aack I'm really sorry abt how boring n poorly written the past 2 chapters were,, this one is a lot better and hopefully more interesting ; )

The doorknob wasn't far. It would be so incredibly easy to just slightly turn it, or perhaps just knock on the door it was attached to. 

Her stomach twisted at the thought, like her whole body was in turmoil over the decision she faced. A part of her really wanted to just… throw open the door, parading in with the pride of an overzealous band kid.

Mukuro. There she was. Dead in her arms again. She could see the body graying, covered in dust and ash from nearby explosions. The words she had told herself repeated in her head. 

_Never… never again was she to put her hope into anybody other than herself_. 

Kyoko couldn’t lie. Especially not to herself. She knew exactly how she felt about Celestia. These visits had no justification, besides the tug of her heartstrings when they were apart for too long. It was so very… human of her, caving to the petty desires of the mind. 

It was bound by no laws, no reasoning; it simply was. And she didn’t know how to even begin to deal with that.

Logically, the best idea would be to simply not knock on the door. She could leave, forget she even planned to stop by in the first place, never meet up with Celestia again, and just wait for the mirage that was Celestia Ludenberg to completely disappear from her life. She could watch the emotions shrivel up and blow away in the wind. Never to be seen again.

Of course, life could never be so simple. She _wanted_ to go in. She wanted so badly, to tear up in her… friend’s... arms, and pour her heart out, even if she knew that Celestia could easily be killed. If she ever left on a mission, the helicopter could be shot down, she could get crushed, or get brutally torn apart by one of the despairs or a beast monokuma. Hell, even inside the building- her wing could collapse, or if there was ever a fire, she would be burned alive, or suffocate in smoke.

The vision came to her. Celestia Ludenberg, coated in gray ash head to toe. Her body was so badly mangled she could hardly tell that it used to be Celestia. Her clothes ash, her skin nothing but a withered leathery husk. The dry skin cracked under a cautious hand, revealing oozing, bloody, half-raw flesh beneath.

The only part not completely scalded was her face. Deep, bloodied burns caked with the dust ran up her cheeks, like the flames had sliced right through parts of her face. And the expression- she shuddered. Her face looked so at peace, despite the obvious agony that had led up to her passing.

Kyoko had never been disturbed by bodies before. But this one curdled her blood, boiling with terror, anger, sadness, eyes brimming with tears-

She was… she… 

The detective blinked, struggling to complete the thought, before exhaling through her teeth. Rocking a foot to the side, she shifted her weight around, suddenly becoming aware of the aching pain at the balls of her feet. _How long had she been standing there?_

She checked her watch.

Nearly two hours, apparently. It was 11:40. Almost... midnight. She swayed, realizing how slow her brain was processing everything. She was exhausted.

Weighing the pros and cons in her head, she reached her hand out to the partition. Celestia would probably be asleep by then, so knocking wouldn’t hurt… and if nobody answered, she could just go back to her room.

Cautiously, she rapped her gloved knuckles against her door.

What she wasn’t expecting was a response. Celestia pulled the partition open, squinting when she saw Kyoko.

“Celestia. Shit.” Kyoko averted her eyes, absentmindedly twiddling her thumbs.  
“Uh, I mean... can I come in?”

* * *

Celestia didn’t want to think about her therapy session the next day. She didn’t want to think about Taeko at all. But the rude awakening she had indulged in brought to light the sickening truth; she couldn’t run from her past forever. It had caught up to her, and was now sinking it’s wicked, gleaming fangs straight into her chest. And it hurt. The sharp, lingering pains of the past felt almost inescapable.

She knew it didn’t have to be like that. If she could just… face the monster, take its hands in her own, she could discover how painfully misunderstood they each were. They could see each other as truly beautiful beyond their own flaws, live lives of content, free of fear and societal constraints. 

She knew what she had to do. But she didn’t know if she had the courage to do it yet.

With a huff, she rolled over in her sheets. The restless, intrusive thoughts had left her sleepless for nearly a week.

Suddenly, Celestia was greeted by a loud knock at the door.

A quick glance over to her clock told her it was almost 12 am. No ideas as to who the perpetrator was crossed her mind, despite the fact that this would make the fourth time she had been stirred that late. Or, perhaps it was another agent… that was who it was most of the time. 

She groaned, sitting up and slipping into the sandals on her rug. Part of her was annoyed, but most of her just wanted to fall back into her covers, even if she knew she was just going to stare up at the ceiling aimlessly.

As she opened the door, she was taken aback. None other than Kyoko Kirigiri stood there, out of rehab, and now somehow standing directly outside of her door.

“Celestia. Shit. Uh, I mean... can I come in?” She just stood there, dumbstruck, before realizing she needed to respond and moving aside. Kyoko stepped in graciously, albeit with a stumble of anxiousness, but she knew it was merely masking the deeper issues she was dealing with. Seiko had mentioned offhand during their first session that Kyoko was also in therapy with her, though she never specified why. If it was any indicator of the severity, however, Celestia could tell how little she had been sleeping by the deep purple bags draped beneath her sunken eyelids. She observed how the detective’s clothes seemed a bit looser than usual, timidly seated squarely in the center of Celestia’s bed.

“I-” Celestia choked on her own words. She was crying.

There wasn’t even any good reason for it, but it suddenly flushed through the system, exploding like an overfilled pressurized air canister. In an attempt to conceal the mess, she quickly turned towards her wall and dabbed away the wetness, waiting for the feeling to subside. She then returned her attention to Kyoko, taking a few cautious steps towards her and sitting on the corner of the mattress.

She was beautiful, but looked oh-so tired, appearing either almost completely zoned out or just participating in a competitive staring contest with her portrait of Grand Bois Chéri Ludenberg. Celestia was fairly sure the detective hadn’t even registered the wetness of her cheeks… not that she would be able to see much of it anyways. The room was lit only by a small lamp in the far corner of her room, dimly illuminating her bookshelves.

“Can- can I…” Kyoko stared back to her, squinting, then leaned forward into the gambler’s arms, loosely encircling her torso with her hands. She sighed and rested her chin on Celeste’s shoulder.

Tentatively, she returned the gesture. She felt so frail, sunken into Celestia’s embrace like this. It was so foreign to her. Seeing Kyoko this vulnerable was so… insane to her- their relationship had never really been one built on emotions, but rather mutual intelligence, beauty, superiority and whatnot, though she knew for a fact Kyoko’s wasn’t fabricated, unlike her own.

She thought briefly about confessing, and her gut twisted.

It was almost funny, how both of their peaks of awful mental health had coincided. More awful than funny, actually, but the combination almost made her laugh.

She giggled, just a little bit.  
“Aha… it’s kind of absurd, how shitty everything has turned out for us...” Kyoko’s hair smelled like jasmine tea and death. A suitable scent for the detective she was.

“Mmm… yeah…” A free hand worked its way into her hair, carding through the dark velvety locks. It stopped near her ear.

“Drills..?” She must not have gotten a good look at her yet since she entered the room.  
“Yes, about those-” The feeling of butterflies fluttering in her stomach made her feel like vomiting. She was going to tell her. Taeko Yasuhiro would no longer be a secret. She could be free again.

“I- apologies, they’re just extensions. Haha…” She internally cussed herself out, accidentally tightening her grip on the detective’s waist.

Kyoko’s shirt crumpled under her grip. It was concerningly loose. Her skin beneath it felt sallow. It failed to fill in all of the gaps it usually did.

“Kirigiri, dear, have you eaten anything in the past few days?”

“I- I don’t know…” Celestia sighed, taking in her scent again. 

“You idiot. Don’t you know how to take care of yourself by now?” Kyoko didn’t respond, merely tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Chewing the inside of her cheek, Celestia removed herself from the detective’s arms, looking down with a stern expression of disapproval, which softened ever so slightly when she saw the sad look Kyoko was giving her.

“I- it’s fine, you don’t have to answer that. Just… join me for breakfast tomorrow, please?” 

She nodded, avoiding her eyes. Celestia watched her cheeks bloom with color as she leaned back into the embrace. Each hot, shallow breath raised the hairs on her neck, her cheeks.

Their eyes met, and if Celestia had been feeling nauseous before, her stomach had just ran a whole marathon in sweltering heat. 

Kirigiri’s violet irises were blown, wide, dimly lit in the flickering lamplight. Her lips glowed, flushed a bashful pink. Despite her obvious exhaustion, the dark bags adorning her sockets, there was not a soul more angelic than she.

Her eyes fluttered closed, another feeble breath slipping past her lips, before surging forward to make purchase on Celestia’s. Her lips. 

Kirigiri was… kissing her.

She froze, a thousand thoughts rushing through her head. Why would she ever..?

Celestia knew exactly how she looked at that moment. No makeup, no drills, a kinder mannerism while speaking, a long-forlorn french accent- she looked and sounded awful, vulnerable. 

She looked like Taeko, completely stripped of the character that was Celestia. Why- why would Kyoko love that part of her? Celestia was far more interesting, beautiful, loveable… 

And yet, here she was. And… oddly, she liked it. 

Pushing aside the intrusive thoughts, she returned the contact and let her own eyes rest, curving herself into the detective’s arms with a content sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel that I haven't given yall enough cliffhangers so have this 😈 also im sorry i suck at writing like, kissing scenes,, my writing style is very soft/eloquent usually so writing that kind stuff usually comes out too crude for my taste


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sike, but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People waiting for a High Stakes, Higher Expectations update: ughhhh girl come onnn its been two weeks where’s the new chapter??  
> People who are still waiting for the next chapter of Full Circle: You will never understand my pain.  
> People who’ve been here since My Desert Flower: :? Yall get updates?
> 
> Lol sorry for not updating in a while,, school just started and I have a lot of AP Euro hw and also kind of lost motivation for a while, sorry abt that. Expect less frequent updates,, but if u like the owl house I have sum good news cuz my lumity fic is almost done
> 
> anyways... enjoy the chapter! ;)

It wasn’t like her to cave to her emotional cravings, the feelings that gnawed away at her heart like cavities, leaving only rot and decay in their path. But the way she looked at her- the obvious emotional weight she spoke with- Kyoko felt all of her willpower crumble. She tried to push the fears of death and sorrow out of her mind, focusing on the situation at hand.

The situation, in question, was Celestia. Her complexion seemed to glow in the dim lamplight.

So naturally, when left face to face with the most alluringly beautiful person she had ever met, the want, the  _ need  _ to get closer, to feel her skin under her hands, to taste her once more, since only a single time could never satisfy her, it clouded her mind, pushing aside all boundaries of logic and the fears of living in a terrifying reality.

When her eyes finally met Celestia’s, wide and sparkling, eyebrows scrunched with concern, she felt her heart skip a beat. Her arms were wound around the gambler’s neck, pulling her closer as she finally submitted to her heart, placing her lips against Celestia’s. They were soft, warm. She felt her tense up with the contact.

Kyoko almost froze, too. 

_ What if she's uncomfortable? _ It was entirely possible that she had failed to read the room properly, mistaken interest for the concern of a friend-

Oh, and she had no excuse either. She didn’t drink, nor do drugs, leaving her no excuses.

She almost pulled away, flustered, but a feeble hand held her in place as Celestia finally kissed her back, humming against her flush lips.

Her stomach felt like it was full of butterflies, fluttering with every movement while she pulled their bodies closer together. Celestia mumbled something incomprehensible against her mouth, shrugging the detective’s suit jacket off her shoulders. It slid off the edge of the bed, falling into a forgotten heap on the red carpeting. 

She trailed her hands back up the gambler’s back, knotting them into her curls, tugging at it every once and a while. With each movement, Celestia opened up against her, moving, breathing in sync.

In a fluid motion she swelled forward, hands wound around her waist, and pushed Kyoko onto her back. She landed among several carelessly strewn throw pillows with a quiet ‘oof’. Celestia wasted no time in capturing her mouth with her own again as she rubbed little circles across the detective’s cheek with her thumb.

Her skin felt like it was on fire. The room was feverishly warm, shallow breaths quickly escaping her lips as they parted.

Celestia looked at her with a lowered gaze, pupils blown out, lips full, wet. She reached out, running a thumb across Celestia’s lower lip.   
The resemblance was almost uncanny. 

It was crazy that she hadn’t seen it sooner. Mukuro… She looked almost exactly like her, save the shape of her bangs and eye color. 

“Kirigiri…” Celestia prodded. “Are you alright?” She blinked, trying to erase the image from her head. She… never really explored that kind of route with Mukuro, but had never really seen her like that- the mere thought made her feel nauseous. Mukuro was almost like a sister she never had, the only family that had stuck around through her teenage years.

“I… uh…” She rolled onto her side, wiping the saliva from his lips. Her eyes unfocused oddly as she tried to think straight. She… Mukuro, no, Celestia…

She…

Kyoko’s body slumped comfortably across the cushions as she passed out, caused in part by exhaustion, but mostly by the slow working sleep drug that Seiko had injected while taking blood tests several hours earlier. 

“Oh- oh my…” Celestia had never seen somebody faint in front of her before.

It really wasn’t much to look at, after all. Celestia reached out, turning the detective onto her back as to prevent her from suffocating, then lay down beside her with a content sigh. Why was it that all of their progressive meetings had to end like this..? So abrupt, with little to nothing accomplished. And she had gotten so close to telling her the truth this time. 

Why was it that every time she wanted to speak a truth, the words refused to form, dancing around her throat like a stray acrobat caught in the safety net? The terrifying thought crossed her mind.

Had the lying persona of herself… had Celestia permanently tainted her, rendering her emotionally unavailable, incapable of love, of trusting relationships?

Love… Celestia touched a tentative hand to her lips. The shock of what she had just done hit her like a ton of bricks.

It- it was wrong. Kyoko was obviously out of it, and she had selfishly… indulged herself in something that wasn’t hers to take.

Swallowing hard, she tried her best to think up an excuse. Of her talents, lying was always her strong suit. It wasn’t hard. She could simply pretend she had been intoxicated… and that she didn’t remember anything from the previous night. Yes, that excuse never failed.

She changed into her nightgown, the soft fabric soothing her nerves as she finally tucked herself beneath her pale silk sheets. It wasn’t hard for her to drift off shortly after snuggling up to Kirigiri’s sleeping form.

She opened her eyes and was faced with an identical pair staring her down. She blinked. The eyes blinked in unison. It was her reflection. Celestia. She stared back with a wry smile, hands folded under her chin. Her massive trademark drills easily dwarfed her head, springing a bit when she cocked her head. Behind her- Kyoko stood, still in her school clothes, facing away with her arms crossed. 

Gently, a hand combed through her hair. White noise flooded her ears as she looked back- it was her again. But this time, the detective's hair was tied back, wearing a blue-gray pinstriped dress lined with white embroidery. Strangest of all, she was divested of her gloves, revealing delicate pink hands. They appeared to be… scarred in some way, perhaps badly burned. 

She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Looking down, she realized she wore similar attire; a pale blue collared dress, cinched at her wrists and waist with little bows, frilling out in little tiers until it reached just past her knees. A sideways glance revealed that she wasn't wearing her drills, either. Dark, curly hair reached past her shoulders, gleaming in the dim glow of the lights hovering above the reflection.

She glanced back to the mirror, showing that the other Celestia had stood from her chair, and was now gripping the sides of the mirror. She looked upset, no… furious.

A terrifying look of anger and bewilderment crossed her face. She growled something under her breath, then slammed into the mirror full force with her head.

The world went black. She felt light, airy, like she was floating.

Bloody shards of broken glass drifted past her in slow motion. She reached out, grabbing at a piece, only for it to crumble to dust between her fingers. 

In a fluid motion, she twisted her body, staring at her Kyoko’s figure. She had drifted a few feet away, but stared off into oblivion, unfocused, combing the air in front of her as if Celestia’s head were still there.

She reached out a hand, watching Kyoko’s illusion crumble at her touch as well. And then she was alone, aimlessly drifting through the void. 

Soon, she noticed that she, too, was dissolving, particles lifting off her fingertips. Her arms, chest, all of it, ash, blowing away in the nonexistent wind.

Abruptly, she jolted awake, breathing rapidly until she realized it was just a dream. She lay strategically facing the  _ actual _ detective’s back, with her hands wound around her chest.

If she could write a sonnet to the gods, she would only curse at them for putting her in these beautiful yet equally terrible situations. 

Fortunately, she didn’t care for the art, gods be warned.

“Ugh…” A shoulder butted against her face, sending her sprawling off the bed and onto the floor with a thump. A moment later, Kyoko’s limp arm fell, dangling off the edge of the bed. She peered cautiously at the detective. Her eyes were open, startlingly alert. 

“A- are you alright, Kirigiri?” 

“I’m fine. I just… my legs feel numb, and I can't really remember how I got here…” Her eyes flicked away. An obvious lie. 

It was beyond her why she would lie about that, but she had learned that in these types of situations, everything she did had a good reason behind it, and Celestia didn't exactly wish to push the envelope. Internally, she half accepted the lie. It was always easier than confronting the truth, anyways. She hoisted herself up with a grunt and went to change her clothes.

Kyoko was fine. Other than trying to forget everything that had happened the previous night, she was feeling great. Her zipper dug uncomfortably into her throat. 

This will have marked the second time she had slept in her work clothes. It wasn’t an achievement she was proud of. 

She also wasn’t proud of lying to Celestia. But goodness, she wasn’t prepared to talk about any of that yet. Hell, she could barely consider herself recovered from the Mukuro situation, how could she possibly expose herself, her emotions like that again? It was like leaving the soft bits of the body exposed in battle, practically begging for a stray weapon to lodge itself under her chin or in her stomach, perhaps right between her ribs.

Celestia was in the bathroom, probably getting ready for the day. This was her chance to… well, nicely put, avoid another awkward confrontation. She pulled herself out of bed and hobbled to the door, pushing it open gently. She hadn’t been lying when she said her body had felt numb- it had probably been a nasty side effect of the sleep medication. Nevertheless, she was strong, and she persisted, leaning against the wall for support. She was almost back to her bedroom when a furious blonde came marching down the hall towards her. Byakuya. He looked pissed off as he came to a full stop in front of her.

“Please move. I need to get back to my room.”

“Not until you explain exactly why you’ve been absent from duty so many nights. Security camera footage shows that you entered that… Ludenberg girl’s room last night and did not leave until a few moments ago.” He clenched his teeth, anger welling in his closed fists, then relaxing in defeat. “Sleeping around with classmates while it is your active job to be in rehab so that we can get you back in working fashion?” He sounded... genuinely hurt. “What is wrong with you? Don’t you know that isn’t going to help you?” Kyoko sighed, turning her head away. He clearly had no idea what was actually going on, but held nothing against lecturing her on it. “Clearly, I’m a fool for assuming you to be actually genuine. How stupid of me.”

“My personal affairs have nothing to do with you. Stop acting like you get a say in who I spend my time with.” She glanced at her watch. “In any case, it’s too early to be having this kind of conversation. If you truly insist- next time, confront me somewhere private. You just made your little tantrum every nearby agent’s concern.” He looked at her in shock. Nobody talked to him like that- nobody was allowed to, with the imminent fear of getting fired. But as somebody of equal rank, who had known him for long enough to be able to speak like that fearlessly, she did not hesitate. 

“Now, I really must go, I promised a friend I’d meet her for breakfast this morning.” Kyoko didn’t wait for a response. She merely pushed past her shocked coworker, hobbling the 20 feet or so to her room and slamming her door closed with an air of finality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my love of cottagecore and hatred of byakuya really popped off here huh


End file.
